The poker game was over, and Conner volunteered to stay and help Sandburg get the loft back into working order. She was off the next day, and since Jim had to be up early for a trial, Jim gratefully accepted the help as he trudged off upstairs, shaking his head at the condition of his home. How was it that just a handful of police officers could induce such a state of disarray?

Upstairs, Jim dialed his hearing down, but he could still easily hear the lowered conversation between Megan and Blair. Okay, maybe he was a little curious about what the two of them would talk about when they were alone together. Although Blair was notorious for coming onto almost every female he met, strangely enough, he had never uttered word one in Megan’s direction. At least not that Jim knew about. Occasionally, Jim had wondered just why that was.

"So, big plans on your day off tomorrow?" Blair asked casually as they gathered up the stray pieces of chips that had fallen here and there on the floor of the loft.

"Errands," said the Australian. "Hair trim, shopping, get my car inspected. That kind of thing. How about you?"

"School," said Blair.

There was a moment of silence, then Megan said, "How’s that going, anyway? With the change of career and all."

From the loft, Jim could almost hear Blair’s shrug. "Okay, I guess. Actually, it’s pretty interesting. Psychology. Goes along with anthropology in some ways, really."

"Who knows?" asked the other detective, obviously trying to be upbeat, "maybe you’ll land back over in anthropology, you know? Never can tell, Sandy."

"Maybe," Blair agreed. "I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it."

They straightened up the kitchen while Jim listened shamelessly from his perch up in the bedroom.

"How about you?" Blair asked, while they were at the sink with the dishes. "How are you finding life in the States, mate?" he queried in a very bad Australian accent.

"With a map, mainly," she joked, then shrugged her shoulders and said, "Okay, actually. Don’t know a lot of new people yet."

"You don’t exactly strike me as the shrinking violet type," Blair said dryly.

"No, I’m not, really," she said with a smile, "but still, in a new country and all…."

"Oh, I know," said Blair.

"Rafe’s been kind enough to show me around a bit," she said.

"I bet he has."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Megan asked, but they both laughed, then she said, "No, it’s not like that. We’re just mates, Sandy."

"I wasn’t trying to pry," said Blair. Jim heard the door of the refrigerator being opened. "You want something to drink?"

"Well, I’m not really at my beer limit yet, I guess," Megan replied.

One thing about that Detective Conner, Blair thought, she could certainly hold her alcohol. "I’ve always wanted to go to Australia," he remarked, and a conversation covering world travel began after that. Blair thought Megan looked like she was in no hurry to leave, so they settled down on the sofas and began to chat.

Sipping her beer, Megan looked straight at him and said, "So. This sentinel thing."

"Megan, no," said Blair earnestly. "I really can’t go into that."

She sat back, regarded him with a keen eye. "May I ask how you first found out? I mean, you knew before you met Jim, right?"

Upstairs, Jim rolled closer to the edge of the loft and listened without reserve.

"Yeah," said Blair, settling back on the sofa and tucking a leg underneath him. "We might want to lower our voices," he added automatically. "Jim’s got to be up early tomorrow."

"If he can hear so well, why does that matter?" Megan asked, curious.

Blair shrugged and said, "Well, I still try to be polite."

"Of course," said Megan immediately. There was a silence, and then she said, "You know, when I first got here, I thought…"

"Thought what?" Blair asked, after her voice trailed off.

Megan gave an amused smiled, set her beer down on a coaster on the coffee table. "You know. I mean, the two of you living together, you were obviously very close, and, with a few exceptions, there weren’t a lot of women around."

"Oh," said Blair. He gave a dry grin, shook his head. "Yeah, I can imagine you’re not the first person to think that."

"Not that I had a problem with it," she said. "In fact, I think you sort of make a cute couple, really."

"Megan!" said Blair, involuntarily glancing back up at the loft.

The irrepressible inspector just smiled, tossed her curly hair. "What? You’re both good-looking, nice guys. Jim’s the big tough he-man type and you’re his cute little teddy bear." Her grin widened saucily.

"Oh, puhleeze!" said Blair. He glanced up at the loft from where he could have sworn he heard a snort of laughter. "Teddy bear!" he repeated, trying to change the subject. "That’s the kiss of death, Megan," he kidded. "Next you’ll be telling me that talking to me is just like talking to your sister."

"Well, not quite," said Megan. "I’m afraid you’re just a bit hairier than she is." She glanced at her watch. "Am I keeping you up?"

"Nah," said Blair, relaxing against the back of the sofa. "I’m glad you stayed. I like hanging out with all the guys from Major Crimes, but everyone’s so busy that we don’t have a lot of time to do that."

There was a short lull in the conversation, and Jim thought, okay, here’s the part where Sandburg starts making the moves.

Instead, Megan took another sip of her beer, and said, "So, what’s the deal on Jim?"

"Megan," Blair said softly, but reprovingly, "you know I can’t talk about that. That is all water under the bridge."

Conner wrinkled up her nose, stared at him in confusion for a moment. "Oh," she finally said. "The sentinel thing. Oh no, Sandy, I didn’t mean that." She glanced up at the loft, lowered her voice. "I mean, you know…." Her eyes met his over the rim of her water glass. "Jim."

Now Blair looked confused.

"C’mon, Sandy," said Megan, "you can’t blame a girl for being curious, can you? He’s a good-looking guy, our Jim. Never dates, though. What’s the deal? You and he aren’t slipping between the sheets, so he’s a free man, right?"

Blair’s eyebrows raised as comprehension finally dawned. "Ohhhhhh. What’s the deal on Jim…." He pursed his lips, said, "Why? You interested?"

Megan shrugged. "I try to make it a rule not to date men at work," she said.

"But it’s a rule you sometimes break?" Blair tried to make his voice sound much heartier than he felt. Upstairs, Jim edged closer to the railing. Shit. Conner was interested in him? He sure didn’t want that complication.

"No, not really," she admitted. "Not a good idea. But a woman can dream, can’t she?"

"Well," said Blair, really hoping Jim was asleep, "I don’t think he’s playing the field right now, Conner."

Oh really? Jim pursed his lips. That was interesting to know.

"Hasn’t gotten over the wife?" asked Megan, and at Blair’s hesitation, she said, "I’m sorry, Sandy. I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Just being a detective and all."

Yeah, thought Blair sourly, a detective who thinks Jim is one hunk of man. "No, he’s just…he’s not the kind of guy that dates around," said Blair. "Jim’s a very special person. I mean, I know a lot of people, especially people at work, think Jim is like this one certain way," and Blair used a lot helpful hand gestures to explain this, "but he’s not, really."

"What do you mean?" Megan asked, sinking back into her spot on the sofa opposite him. She was almost finished with her beer, and still talking, Blair got up and fetched her another one.

"Well, you know, sometimes people think he can be a real hard-ass-"

"He can be a hard-ass," said Megan.

Blair said, "Yeah, but that’s just Detective Ellison at work, you know? He’s not really like that."

"You saying he’s a marshmallow at home, Sandy? Because I could believe that."

"No," said Blair, almost giggling at this image, "I don’t mean that, Megan. I just mean that he’s a very layered guy, a very deep, incredible man."

More interesting facts, thought Jim from upstairs.

"And you can believe Jim’s a marshmallow?" Blair added, just catching her last comment.

"Oh sure," said Megan, stretching out on the sofa and making herself at home. "He’s just that type, Sandy. All hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and gooey in the middle."

"Just like a candy bar," said Blair, and both he and Megan laughed until a frowning Jim wondered if he should march on down the stairs and set some people straight. Then Blair said, "No, seriously, Megan, Jim is like the best thing that ever happened to me."

Jim pulled up short.

"I bet," she said encouragingly.

"I’ve always lived this nomadic kind of life, which I’ve always loved," Blair quickly added, "but even when I was hanging out here in Cascade, I never really was in one place for very long. Jim let me crash here, and now…." He extended his arms to include the loft. "It’s like the one place I associate with the word home."

"That’s very nice," said Megan, nodding. "I have to say I envy the relationship that you and Jim have."

"Really?" Blair asked. "You wouldn’t say that if you heard his little lectures about the bathroom."

Jim had to bite his tongue to keep himself from shouting something down.

"No, I’m serious," she said. "You’re best mates, thick as thieves. I envy that, I really do. I think most of the guys do. When I first got here, I kept hearing all these stories, about how Ellison used to be this…well, loner kind of guy, tough, always keeping his own counsel. Then suddenly you show up, and it’s like the gorilla in the zoo finally got a trainer, know what I mean? No offense meant," she added quickly.

"He’s not like that," said Blair, all sincerity. "People just didn’t know him, that’s all."

"Brown told me once that you were the bravest person he knew," Megan confided. "Because you got in Jim Ellison’s face and never batted an eyelash over it."

Blair considered this for a moment. "I guess I’ve just never thought about that," he admitted. "I mean, to me, Jim is…I have to admit, when I first met him, I thought he walked on water."

Jim listened intently now. He was even prepared to forgive Sandburg for talking about him behind his back in this manner.

"Then real life kicked in?" Megan asked sympathetically.

"No," said Blair, "that’s the funny thing, Megan. I mean, I know he’s human, believe me, I know that all too well, but I’m human, too, and everything Jim has ever pissed me off about, well, I’m sure I’ve been just as bad."

Not just as bad, thought Jim.

Megan nodded.

"The funny thing is," Blair repeated, running his hand through his curls, "he really is this incredible person, you know? He’s witty, he’s intelligent, sharp as hell, and he’s one of the kindest, truly decent people I’ve ever had the privilege to know."

Jim’s mouth dropped open. Sandburg thought he was witty? Intelligent? Well, he was, of course, but he hadn’t heard Sandburg mention it before.

"So are you," said Megan. "Honestly, it’s no wonder the two of you linked up. You’re perfect for one another."

"I’ll settle for just perfect," Blair said, flapping his eyes modestly, and she laughed, threw a pillow at him across the coffee table.

Then Megan said, "So, you’ve never thought about the two of you getting together."

"Megan!" Blair said. "What’s with you?" he asked, mock-annoyed. "I think you’ve been watching too many American talk shows."

She shrugged. "You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it," she said. "I mean, maybe men are different, but don’t you think about having sex with people you run into in your everyday life? Not seriously, of course, but just…because they’re there?"

Blair was staring at her. "Now this," he said, "is a conversation I could get into. Why don’t you just sit right down, Megan, and tell Dr. Blair all about it."

She laughed, said, "Okay. Be a spoilsport. I won’t tell you what I thought about the doughnut person and that doughnut cart-"

"Not the blonde woman?" Blair cut in, and Megan said, "Nope, can’t tell you now."

"Are we talking lesbian fantasies here? Because you know I’m very discreet, Inspector Conner. I wouldn’t say a word." Blair gave her a shit-eating grin and blinked his eyes jokingly.

"A tale for a tale," said the canny Conner. "You tell me everyone you’ve thought about having sex with in Major Crimes, and then I’ll tell you."

"That’s not fair! There are a lot more men in there than women!"

"Chicken."

"Oh, god," said Blair. "Megan, I just don’t do the man thing, okay? I mean, I don’t have a problem with it, but it’s just…I like women."

"I like men," Megan replied. "But you can’t tell me you’ve never pictured any of the men in Major Crimes at least naked or something. Not you, Sandburg. I’ve heard about your reputation with sex."

"That is all a lie," said Blair, only half-joking, and upstairs, Jim had completely given up on sleep. He wanted to hear all about this.

"Spill," said Megan.

"Shit," said Blair. He rolled over onto his back, put his hands over his face.

"A fantasy for a fantasy," she said.

"Hey, I never said fantasy. Picturing someone naked is different than rolling around on a desk with them."

Megan just smiled loftily and crossed her arms.

"Ah," sighed Blair, trying to think. "Okay, I think Rafe is a good looking guy. I mean, in a totally generic sense of the word."

Rafe? thought Jim. He tried to imagine looking at Rafe in that way. Huh-uh. Rafe was a nice dresser, though, Jim would give him that.

"Yeah, Rafe is nice-looking," said Megan. "But really, everyone in Major Crimes is charming in their own way. So you’d have sex with Rafe?"

"Wait a minute, Xena, I never said anything like that."

"You’ve never thought of having sex with anyone who works in Major Crimes? And Xena is from New Zealand. Well, sort of," said Megan.

Blair hesitated.

"You have," she said triumphantly.

"Are we counting the whole station, or just Major Crimes?"

"We’re not counting females, Sandy. Remember? We’re exchanging same sex secrets here."

"I want to hear yours," said Blair, whining.

"Uh-huh," Megan said. "You first."

"I can’t think of anybody," Blair said.

"Liar."

"What?" Blair looked truly surprised at this little challenge. He sat up, stared at her with his brow furrowed. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she said innocently. "I just find it very doubtful that you’ve never speculated on anyone in Major Crimes. Not even on long, dull days, when you’re just sitting there filling out Jim’s reports?"

"Well, obviously, I should be concentrating more on the doughnut woman," Blair retorted.

Megan said, "I’ve thought about unbuttoning her blouse and slipping my hand inside it."

"Holy shit," breathed Blair, sitting up straighter.

Damn, thought Jim. He dialed his hearing up a notch or two.

Megan smiled archly. "And I’m not lesbian. Your turn, Sandburg."

Blair swallowed, tried to get the picture of Megan’s hand inside the doughnut woman’s blouse outside of his head.

"Okay," he said. He lowered his voice, a lot. "I think…jimhasanicebody," he mumbled nonsensically.

"What?" Megan asked, leaning up to try to decipher.

"I said that I think several people in Major Crimes have nice bodies," he said. Upstairs, Jim pursed his lips. So Sandburg had looked at his body before. Well, that was natural, right? After all, they were roommates. It wasn’t like Jim didn’t exactly know what Sandburg looked like, either. Sort of hard to avoid when one lived together day in and day out.

"And?" said Megan.

Blair shrugged. "Megan, we shouldn’t be talking about our friends like this. It’s…"

"We’re not being disrespectful," Megan said. "I wouldn’t go there, Sandburg. We’re just…talking between the two of us. I mean, you’re a friend, Sandy."

"I know, just like your sister," he grumbled.

"I don’t usually talk about other women with my sister."

Blair licked his lower lip, said, "Have you ever been with another woman, Megan?"

"Once when I was fourteen," the detective replied. "I pretended I was her boyfriend, a famous pop star. It wasn’t all that interesting." Then she said, "Have you ever been with another man?"

Jim sat silently, even his breathing sounding loud.

"Megan, I can trust you, right?" Blair asked, and Jim thought, oh god, don’t, Sandburg. But he wasn’t too concerned. Conner had turned out to be pretty true blue after all.

"Absolutely," she said, serious. "It’s not like I want to hear one word out of you when the doughnut person comes in, okay?"

"Oh, not a word," swore Blair, eyes twinkling, and Megan actually made the effort to reach over and pop him before he got serious and said, "I had a friend in high school who…touched me."

Jim swallowed.

Megan nodded, obviously thinking it was no big deal. "Just the usual adolescent thing?" she asked.

"Yeah. Curious, I guess," said Blair. "I’ve had some offers," he added.

Megan said, "I can believe that. You’re a good-looking guy, Sandy."

"Thanks," he said, and they thought about that for a moment. Then he said, "So, what happens after you put your hand in the doughnut person’s blouse?"

Megan waved an admonishing finger at him and said, "No, Sandy. Your turn."

Blair sat for a moment, thinking.

"Have you ever thought of Rafe?" Megan asked.

"No," said Blair truthfully.

"Brown?"

"No," said Blair, laughing. "I mean, H is such a ladies’ man, you know? I just cannot picture that. He would think I had lost my mind."

"Simon?"

"I cannot believe you asked me that. He’s like my father, Conner! Well, sort of, and don’t tell him I said that."

"Okay," she said, and waited for a moment before she asked, "How about Jim?"

"Jim?" asked Blair, trying to sound surprised, but his very tone gave him away.

"Come on," said Megan, reaching for another swig of beer from her bottle. She was getting a very pleasant little buzz. "You can’t have lived with that man and not thought something."

Oh great, thought Jim. Just discuss me like I’m a piece of meat, Sandburg. But he couldn't wait to hear the reply.

"It’s not like that," said Blair.

"Well, have you?" asked Megan.

And Blair said, "Yes."

Upstairs, Jim felt his whole body flush. His heart was beginning to pick up the pace a bit, and his face was beginning to get a little warm. This is nothing, he told himself. Blair looks at everyone that way. No need to think anything about it.

"Have you ever kissed him?" Megan asked.

"Conner! I will not discuss Jim like he’s some kind of…I respect him. He’s my best friend, hell, I love him."

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"Is this what it’s like at pajama parties?" Blair asked.

"Yep."

"God, that’s a scary thought. You know, I really think if boys knew more about what girls really talked about they’d be a lot more respectful," said Blair.

"Quit trying to change the subject," said Megan.

"Are you going to paint my nails next?"

"I’m going to stick your hand in a pan of water and make you pee if you don’t talk," said his companion.

Blair laughed and said, "Yeah, I’ve thought about it."

"You’ve thought about kissing Jim?" she clarified.

"Yeah, no big deal, right?"

He’s thought about kissing me. For a moment, Jim pictured that in his head. Okay, he had thought about kissing Sandburg, too. A lot. It was no big deal, right? Sandburg had very full lips.

Simon has nice lips, too, and you’ve never thought about kissing him.

I just haven’t gotten around to that, Jim told himself irritably.

Right.

"One day," said Megan, "I was just bored. I had just finished up all my paperwork, and was trying to decide what to do next when the doughnut person came in. What was her name? Not the one now, but the other one. Tall and blonde?"

"Aren’t they all tall and blonde?" Blair asked.

Megan said, "Anyway, I know this is terrible, but I looked up and just had this thought."

"Yes?"

"I just thought about going over there to get a doughnut, and instead, just leaning over and kissing her on the throat."

"Now that," said Blair, shifting on the sofa, "is a thought."

"Why does that turn guys on so?" Megan pondered.

"Just natural, I guess," said Blair. "Two women, the more the merrier."

"Yeah, I think it would be sexy to see you and another guy together, so I guess I can see that," said Megan.

Blair’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. "Really," he said.

Megan gave him a dry look. "Hello. Works both ways, you know."

"Yeah, I guess so," Blair admitted.

Megan was still looking at him.

"What?"

"It’s your turn," she said. "Tell me what you’ve thought about kissing Jim."

"Oh, shit," said Blair. "Do I have to go into detail?"

Megan waited, tapped her toe against the end of the sofa.

"Oh, I don’t know. There was this one time," Blair said, lowering his voice. "During one of our cases. Jim was just like in a really good mood, and it just seemed sort of like, I don’t know, like we were flirting or something." I really should not be telling her this, thought Blair, immediately stricken.

Conner, however, looked very unimpressed. "You’re always flirting with each other," she said disdainfully. "You’ve got to do better than that."

"What? Jim and I do not flirt with each other," said Blair.

"You can’t keep your hands off each other."

"That is…" Blair gestured maniacally, and said, "That’s a sentinel thing, Megan. Has nothing to do with…sex or anything."

"Right," said Megan, nodding wisely. "Okay, still your turn. Go ahead. And what’s this flirting mess? I want details, Sandy, details."

"Man, I am sorry I started this," said Blair. "Conner, it was nothing. You just asked if I had ever thought of kissing Jim, and on that case, well, we were kidding around and I thought…wonder what it would be like to kiss him, that’s all."

Jim was frantically doing a mental file review of all his and Blair’s cases.

"So you thought about kissing Jim."

"Yes," said Blair, swallowing. "I did."

"Okay," said Megan. "I would be standing there at the doughnut cart, and while I kissed her slowly on the throat, my hand would slide underneath her blouse. She would be wearing this blouse with the top few buttons undone," she added.

"Can I ask something here?" Blair said. "What’s the rest of Major Crimes doing during this? I mean, do we notice what is going on or what?"

"Jim has pushed everything off his desk, and he has you on your back, kissing you," replied the helpful Megan.

Blair said, "Fuck!" and shot her an evil glance, but he laughed despite himself.

"Your turn," she said.

"I’ve got nothing else to say," Blair said.

Megan just sighed and said, "Give it up, Sandy. You know you’ve thought about sleeping with Ellison."

"But I don’t want it to sound disrespectful, talking about it, you know, Megan?"

Jim wondered what in the hell this little admission meant. That Sandburg had actually thought about sleeping with him? He was going to feel like shit tomorrow with no sleep, but right now he didn’t much care.

"Say it tactfully," she advised.

"I would, you know," said Blair, mock-annoyed. "I’m not a vulgar kind of guy."

"I know," she said.

He pursed his lips, and said, "Okay, I’ve thought about what it would be like if he came into my room at night."

"Now we are talking!" said Megan, her eyes gleaming.

"Hey," said Blair, "no details, okay? Just that I’m lying in my bed-"

"Are you naked?" Megan asked mischievously.

Blair, surprised and then amused at this question, said, "Megan! Of course I am," and she laughed, too. "Your turn," he said. "I’m already naked, and you and doughnut woman are both fully dressed."

"Well," said Megan, "I slide my hand inside her blouse and…her lingerie, and I feel how soft her skin is there. I can feel…."

"Don’t stop on my account," said Blair.

Megan said, "My fingers caress her, and I feel her harden underneath my touch."

"Jesus," said Blair. Upstairs, Jim tried to swallow, but realized he had a very dry mouth. He had barely heard what Megan had said; he was still recovering from the thought of a naked Sandburg waiting on him to show up in his room. "Like I said," Blair said huskily, "I’m lying naked in my room. It’s dark, and there’s only a little bit of moonlight, making everything all shadowy. I’m lying on top of my covers, touching myself."

Megan smiled.

"If you ever tell anybody any of this, I’ll put the Sandburg family curse on you," Blair threatened.

"Scouts honor," said Megan, and crossed her fingers over her heart.

"Okay," Blair continued, "I’m like, really ready, and I look up, and Jim is standing in the doorway, wearing only boxers, looking down at me."

"Nice picture," said Megan.

"For a second, we just look at each other," said Blair, "and we realize that we just know, you know?"

"Know what?" asked Megan.

Blair grunted and said, "C’mon, Conner."

"That you want each other?" she asked. "Or that you love each other?’

"Are you pledging undying love to the doughnut-woman?" asked Blair.

"That’s a bit different, Sandy, and we both know it," said Megan.

"Okay," Blair conceded. "I don’t know, something, anyway, he just walks over to me, and I spread my legs, and he gets down on top of me. Your turn," he added quickly.

Megan was still trying to recover from Blair’s little mental picture. "Hhmm," she said. "Okay, where was I?"

"You had your hand in the doughnut woman’s shirt," Blair supplied helpfully.

"Oh, yeah. I’ve got my hand in her…lingerie-"

"You can say bra, that’s okay," Blair said.

Megan frowned at him and said, "lingerie, and then, as I’m gently kneading her with my fingers, she throws her head back and starts moaning. I lick and kiss all the way up the column of her neck, and then she looks at me, dazed, and I kiss her, hard, my tongue licking into her mouth."

Conner has a way with words, thought Jim. He was as hard as a rock, but was really waiting for Blair to go on with his little story. What an idea! Him standing in Blair’s room, watching a naked Sandburg stroke himself in the middle of the night. Fuck. Blair had really thought about that?

"Jim leans down," Blair said, "and although he’s practically straddling my body, he’s barely touching me at all. He moves up toward my face, and we look at each other for a long time, and then he says, "Sandburg, do you want me?" and I say, "Yes," and he leans down and kisses my neck."

Jesus, thought Jim.

"More neck kissing," Megan mused. "Okay. Me and doughnut woman – she needs a name, by the way. Can we call her…Anne?" Blair nods, and Megan said, "Anne-"

"Call her Gabrielle," Blair broke in, suggesting.

Megan shot him a very irritated face and said pointedly, "Anne is helpless in the thralls of passion right now, and I unbutton her shirt and pull it out from her skirt. Then she puts one foot up on the doughnut cart, and I run my hand to the inside of her thigh and start stroking her there while I kiss her."

"What are the rest of us doing again?" asked Blair. He was hard as a rock; flushed and feverish. And most of that was from his little Jim story.

"Jim has his hand on the front of your jeans, gently squeezing," said Megan triumphantly, and Blair’s face pinkened even more.

This has gone just about far enough, Jim thought from upstairs. Still, he didn’t move, didn’t speak to end it.

"Jim rubs his hand down my chest," said Blair, his pulse racing. "Stopping to pinch each nipple, just enough to drive me crazy. Then he moves his hand down across my stomach, lower, right to the base of my…." He cast an unsure look at Megan, who was looking a bit glassy-eyed herself. "At the same time, he has moved his mouth to my ear and is nibbling my earlobe." Despite himself, Blair shivered as he related this; tried not to look embarrassed.

Megan just said, "I slide my fingers in between her legs, and I can tell that she is really, really turned on."

Moving now, Jim fumbled for the cell phone in the pocket of his jacket. Huddling under the covers, he dialed with trembling fingers as quietly as he could.

"I look up at Jim," said Blair, "and he gives me this look, I mean, this really, really deep look, and then he says-"

The ringing of the loft phone broke off whatever Blair is getting ready to say. Startled, he blinked for a moment, then said, "Who would be calling this late? Hello?" he asked, and he could barely hear the whisper on the other end.

"Sandburg, this is Jim," came the hoarse reply. "I can hear everything you’re saying up here. For the sake of both your dignities, get Megan out of there, then I want to see you up here at once." And he hung up.

"Oh, shit," said Blair, staring dumbly at the receiver in his hand. His heart was racing. Oh my god.

"What’s wrong?" asked Megan, immediately concerned.

Blair said, "It’s…it’s my mom. My grandmother is doing unwell, and…and I’ve got to call my uncle right away."

"Oh, Sandy, I’m so sorry," said Megan, standing. "Can I do anything?"

"No," said Blair, "Just…I’m sorry, I’m not trying to send you away, but…"

"Oh, it’s okay," said Megan, immediately getting her things. "It’s late, anyway, and I should be going. That conversation was probably better left unfinished, anyway, right?" and she gave Blair a rather shaky grin as he walked her to the door.

"Yeah, that was one of those middle of the night conversations that need never be repeated," he said, making sure his voice was loud enough for certain nosy people to overhear.

Megan kissed him on the cheek and said, "Don’t worry, Sandy, it was just late night ramblings. Our little secret."

"Right," said Blair, "even though I’ll never look at the doughnut cart the same way again."

She laughed and said, "Well, I did elaborate a bit just for effect."

"Right," he said again, and then he added, ‘Megan, you know I was just going on about Jim. I never really think those things."

"Sure, Sandy," said Megan. And with another smile, she was gone.

Behind her, Blair closed the door, then closed his eyes. Fuck. Double fuck, triple fuck. All was silent from upstairs.

Trying to gather his courage up, slowly Blair began to ascend the loft stairs. I’ll beg, he thought, I’ll apologize, I’ll do his reports for a week, a month, I’ll…Blair’s thoughts all left him as he got to the top of the loft stairs. Because there, spread out before him, was a naked Jim Ellison on top of the covers.

"Jim?" he breathed. God, hadn’t he heard him come up? But no, Jim was looking at him, his hand slowly stroking down that abdomen to the flat stomach, to the…

Fuck.

"Jim?" he asked again.

Jim said nothing, just held out his hand. The one that wasn’t touching that….

Like a man in a dream, Blair walked over.

"Come here," said Jim.

Swallowing nervously, Blair said, "Jim, man, I don’t know what you heard down there...."

"I heard enough," said Jim, hoping to god he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life. "Do you want to touch me, Sandburg? Because I want you to."

Blair’s eyes rounded into saucers, his pulse racing. He sat down on the bed beside the glorious Jim Ellison. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

Jim reached out and touched Blair’s arm, started stroking him there. "Yes," he said. And then he tugged at Blair to come down toward him. Breathless, Blair went, and Jim enfolded the pulsing young student in his arms.

"Oh, man," whispered Blair.

Jim just pulled him closer and said, "Ssh," as he began to rub circles onto Blair’s flannel covered back. For some time they lay there, then Jim said, "Chief, let’s get this off, shall we?"

Numbly, Blair helped Jim pull the shirt off, then the tee shirt underneath.

"You’re so beautiful," Jim breathed, and he stroked a hand across Blair’s furry chest, gently stroking his knowing fingers across his nipples.

"Oh, Jim," Blair said, and Jim turned them over until he straddled Blair, looked down at him, though their bodies were barely touching. Their eyes met and held for a long time, then Jim leaned down and kissed Blair on the neck.

"Augh," Blair arched, moaned.

Jim kissed him again, and again, his hand stroking down across his abdomen to the top of his jeans. "Let’s get these off," Jim whispered, and Blair was already complying, jerking at the fly and pushing them and his boxers off and over the side of the bed. Then Jim looked down into Blair’s face and said, "Now what?"

"Now what what?" answered the stunned student.

"You told Megan that I looked into your eyes and said…." Jim said, kissing Blair’s face, his hair. "You didn’t finish. What was it?’

And Blair swallowed and said, "I don’t think you want to hear about that part, Jim."

"Tell me," Jim instructed. He nipped at Blair’s jaw before looking back at him with very soft, serious eyes.

"That you love me," said Blair, voice miserable, and Jim closed his eyes for a second.

"I’m sorry," said Blair, almost looking like he was going to cry, and he tried to move, but Jim had his arms around his shoulders and wouldn’t let him.

"Listen to me," aid Jim, taking Blair’s chin by the hand and not letting go.

Blair stopped his futile thrashing and looked up at Jim fearfully.

"I love you," said Jim.

"No, Jim please don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Okay?"

"I mean it," said Jim, leaning down and planting a kiss on the end of Sandburg’s nose. "I’ve meant it for a long time now, Blair."

"Really?" Blair looked totally astonished.

"Yep," said Jim. Then he said, "Can I kiss you?"

"Oh yeah," aid Blair, and he tilted his head back on the pillow and opened his mouth for Jim’s to come down firmly upon it.

Yes, thought Jim Ellison, closing his eyes and breathing it all in; Blair's smell, Blair's taste. Finally. Thank you, Conner.

Finally.

Blair's body and mouth were warm against his, and Jim just wanted to stay there forever, cuddled and pressed, and then there was the matter of that wonderful little (okay, not little) hard-on that was nudging against his thigh. Gently, slowly, he moved his hand down between them and grasped it firmly.

In Jim's arms, Blair jerked.

"This okay?" Jim murmured, pulling back to see Blair's face.

"You tell me," said Blair, eyes half-closed.

"Feels okay to me," said Jim seriously. "Of course, maybe a closer examination is really what is called for here."

Blair started smiling. "I think you're right," he said. "And didn't you have medic training or something?"

Jim was nipping his way down Blair's furry chest, his hand still on Blair's warm cock. Caressing it the whole time, he eventually made his way down to the pulsing groin. "No regrets, right, Sandburg?" he asked.

"None for me," said Blair, looking down at him. He was unusually still; Jim wasn't used to seeing such a total lack of movement from his roommate. It was if the younger man was waiting for something very important. When Jim glanced back up at him, Blair said, "I love you."

And then Jim realized what Blair was waiting for. This. The edge of the cliff, the point of no return. The oh my god we are changing our lives forever sort of thing.

"I'm tired of running around," said Jim, his and Blair's eyes never parting in the semi-darkness of the loft.

"I know," said Blair.

"You sure?" Jim asked. He could see the dark curls moving in the grayness as Blair moved his head solemnly. "Big step," Jim said, still waiting.

Blair reached a hand down to play with Jim's hair, his face. "I'm ready," he said.

"No turning back, not for me," said Jim, reaching down and kissing Blair's palm. "This would be the last stop on the train."

His stomach sizzling, heart pounding, Blair said, "Me, too. Me, too, Jim," and then Jim was moving back up across Blair's naked body, holding him in his arms as Blair gasped and tried to blink back the eternity of emotion in his eyes.

Twisting his head around, Jim found Blair's lips and kissed them urgently, the intensity of their shared emotion hard and undeniable. Blair met him all the way, surrendering to whatever fate it was that owned them as the two men rolled over, locked in that strong embrace, desperate now to get to the starting gate.

"What do you like?" Jim murmured, his hand running back down across Blair's abdomen.

"Anything, anything," said Blair. "Yeah, that's...." He held onto Jim tightly, fingers flexing against the hard back, and Jim moved a grasping hand once more in between their plastered together bodies.

Straining against one another, they pushed their lower regions together and both gasped at the incredible sensation the movement provided. Unable to stop now, they grunted and shoved their way into the best positions and then Jim said, "Come for me, Chief, come for me," and Blair obliged, wrapping his thighs around Jim's back and pushing for all he was worth.

"Yes," the student was shouting, heart racing, muscles clenching, until he was at the very edge of a hurricane force wind that blew him straight over the cliff. Completely uninhibited in this strange new safe world of Jim, he jerked and gasped as the liquid shot from him and paved a lubricated way between their bodies.

Jim was still bucking, but it only took a second longer for him to join Blair in their triumphant and weary little celebration.

"Oh man," said Blair, still panting as they collapsed in one another's arms.

When Jim recovered, he reached over for a tissue to clean off their sticky bodies.

"That was some consummation, huh?" Blair asked rather shyly, still bewildered as heck to be here.

"I didn't expect anything less from you," said Jim, getting rid of the tissue and moving back into Blair's arms.

Blair was watching him, gingerly playing with the side of the bigger man's face. "So this doesn't surprise you at all?"

Jim glanced down at him. He's shy, too, Blair thought with wonder.

"I don't know," Jim said, tugging on a strand of Blair's hair. "It makes sense, I guess. And what else could I do with a whirlwind like yourself?"

Blair smiled. "Like you're not a force of nature, too, man."

Jim's face sobered. "You sure you're going to be okay with this? Because if you've changed your mind...."

Blair immediately got up on one elbow, looked tragically serious. "Jim, no room for doubt, okay? I said it, and I mean it. This is for keeps for me, man. Unless you're having second thoughts?" His face was absolutely stricken.

"No, no, Sandburg," said Jim gently, instantly reaching to reassure him. "C'mon, professor, you think I'd take my clothes off and lie in wait for just anybody?" He said the words lightly, but it was really a very serious thing for Jim to have done. It had been a huge risk, an almost mind-boggling one.

"What made you do it?" Blair whispered. He had to know.

Jim was stroking Blair's chest now, and he idly watched his fingers whirl around the hardening nipple. "I don't know," he said. "I figured now was as good a time as any. Especially since you had the whole little room scenario fresh in your mind, apparently." He grinned. "What in god's name made you tell Conner all that stuff?"

"I don't know," said Blair. "It was just...it just seemed the thing to do, you know? And you're going to have to stop doing this, man," he added, moving Jim's fingers from his chest and clasping them tightly. "Unless you want to stay up all night."

Jim pulled Blair to him by the bare flank. "I tell you what," he said. "You let me get some sleep tonight, and then this weekend...." He bent down and tugged on Blair's ear with his teeth. "We'll have our own private free-for-all."

"Yeah," said Blair, snuggling up to his sentinel. "I like the sound of that. Even though, Jim," he had to add, "I've like, never done this kind of thing before." He sounded sheepish.

"What?" Jim asked, pretending to be shocked. "Blair Sandburg, Romeo of the Known World, is admitting he's not done something sexual?"

"Hey, I know you think I'm a table-leg and all that, but I've really not done much-"

Jim interrupted the younger man by pulling him to his side. "I don't care," he whispered into Blair's ear. "We'll do whatever you want, Sandburg, and nothing more. Hey, this is fine with me." And he squeezed him tighter.

"I figure we've got a lifetime to find out everything, don't you?" Blair whispered, once again overcome by all of it, and Jim nodded, holding his beloved friend tightly against his chest.

"And fifteen minutes before I have to go to sleep," said Jim.

Grinning through his emotion, Blair moved his mouth against Jim's strong neck and said, "Set your timer."

The next day, Blair got to the station before Jim did, and Conner shot him an undeniable look of apprehension.

"Hi," he said, leaning on her desk, and then they both heard it; the unmistakable sound of the squeaky wheels of the doughnut cart. Megan’s eyes rounded, and both she and Blair turned as one to see a lanky longhaired teenage boy wearing headphones pushing the cart in, obviously bored.

"Oh," Megan said, her breath hissing out in relief.

They were both just about to laugh when Rafe breezed up and said, "Whoa, oh, Hairboy! Where’d you get those marks?" elegant fingers easily plucking at the collar of Blair’s shirt. Rafe looked at Megan with raised eyebrows. "Obviously," he said, "Hairboy had somewhere else to go after poker night. Way to go, kid," and he pounded Blair on the back and walked over to his own desk. Blair suddenly couldn’t meet Megan’s rapidly narrowing eyes.

"Sandy," she said. "I was at your house until two in the morning. I know I didn’t give you those marks, and I can’t believe you went out that late…." Her voice trailed off, and her eyebrows began to rise. "No, Sandy, tell me you didn’t-" she began, but her shocked voice was cut off by another breezy presence showing up at their side: Jim Ellison.

A Jim Ellison who had already changed into a high turtleneck after his court appearance.

"Conner," he said, smiling brightly. "Sandburg," and he reached over and squeezed Blair’s arm possessively.

Megan’s mouth was still open.

"What’s wrong, Conner?" Jim asked solicitously. "Oh, I know what it must be." Jim turned around and said to the new doughnut boy, "Two buttermilk please," and then handed them back to Megan with a flourish. "I know how you do love your doughnuts," he said, smiling, then he frowned and added, "But isn’t that a new doughnut person that we have? What do you think, Chief? Wasn’t the last one a tall blonde? Wearing a skirt and blouse?’

By this time, Megan had gathered her wits together, and her brows were knotted ominously. "You shits," she whispered, and Jim held his hands up in an appeasing gesture.

"Hey, your secret’s safe with me," he said. "A tale for a tale?"

Megan was shaking her head, but they were all smiling conspiratorially at each other. "I’ll have you know I’m completely heterosexual," she whispered.

Jim just patted Blair’s shoulder. "Until last night, Conner," he said, "so was I."

Megan just stared, Blair just shrugged, and Jim Ellison just smiled as he and his long-term partner settled back down to work.

Eventually, Megan ate her doughnuts and got back to work, too.

The End