"Congratulations, Sandburg," Simon said with a smile on his face. "This is your lucky day."
"Great. What’d I win?" Blair cast a rather nervous glance over at his partner, Jim Ellison.
"You won a chance to go undercover on a bold, exciting new case."
"Undercover?" asked Blair. "Really? All right." Blair always wanted to help out on cases, but since he was technically only a police observer, he usually didn’t get the opportunity.
"Yep, and it’s a good one, too," Simon smiled. It was the smile that did it.
"Oh boy," said Blair dryly, with another glance at Jim. "Should I be afraid now?"
"Not at all," said the grinning captain. "In fact, it’s something that should be right up your alley. You get to go to a party as someone’s date."
"Well, okay!" said Blair, liking the sound of that. "Whose date? Conner’s? Harriman’s?"
The smile grew wider.
"Don’t get your hopes up," Jim said from his perch on the corner of the table. "You get to be my date."
"Your date?" Blair stared at him in surprise. "You mean, like…this is a gay club thing or something?"
"Oh no, no," said Simon. "Much better than that, Sandburg. You get to be Jim’s female date."
There was a small moment of silence before Blair said, "Oh no, oh no. I know you can’t mean what I think-"
"You see, Captain?" Jim asked straight-faced. "I told you he wouldn’t be able to do the job."
Simon gave a great sigh as Blair looked from one to the other.
"You know, Jim, you may be right. Personally, I thought Sandburg was really part of the team here, dedicated to helping out whenever he could-"
"Oh no," said Blair, shaking a finger at both of the men. "You can stop it right there. No amount of psychological hammering is going to make me really fall for this, no sir. You’re joking, right?" he added. "You don’t really want me to go as a female, do you?"
"It was either you or Ellison," said Captain Banks, "and no offense intended to anyone, but can you see Jim as a woman?"
"Hey, he has great legs," Blair quipped.
"Chief, I’m touched you noticed," said the detective lightly.
"You’re serious," said Blair. "You really want me to dress up like a woman."
"Conner’s working the Baker case Saturday night, so she can’t go. She’s the primary on that, and we need her there."
"Can’t Jim take a real date?"
"Sorry to break this to you, Chief," said Jim, "but I usually pass on taking my women friends to police stakeouts."
"This is a stakeout," Blair clarified.
"Sort of," Simon said. "Martin Henshaw, the film director, is making a run for Congress this year. He’s having a fund-raiser in Cascade, and I thought we’d throw in some extra security."
"And you’re sending in Major Crimes?" Blair asked, surprised.
"Two words, Sandburg," said Simon dryly. "The Mayor."
"Okay," said Blair. "So why can’t two guys go?"
"He’s a film director, and he’s courting the conservative vote up here. He’d appreciate a more traditional look," said the Captain. He raised his eyebrows meaningfully.
"Well, I think that’s lousy," began Blair. "I actually thought that I might vote for him, but if he’s going to be that-"
"We’re in," said Jim to Simon, interrupting, and Blair let his mouth hang open.
"We are?"
Jim and Simon looked at Blair and waited, arms crossed.
"Okay," sighed the young man. "We are."
"I still can’t see why everyone immediately thinks of me the moment the word "cross-dresser" comes up," complained Sandburg in the truck. "And don’t say the hair, okay? Because we both know that can’t be all it is."
"It’s the hair," said Jim solemnly.
Blair shot him a disgusted look.
"What?" asked Jim. "You’re my partner. I got assigned to the job. Who else am I going to take?"
"There aren’t any other female officers at the station? I know for a fact that isn’t true, man."
"Yes, there are," said Jim patiently, "but you’re my partner, okay?"
Blair glanced at him. He didn’t know whether to be pleased or suspicious. "So I guess I was just lucky that Megan was along on that little suburban stint, huh? Or I would have been the one sharing your bed that night."
"Sandburg, Conner did not share my bed, as you most certainly know."
"No, instead, I was the nephew, nearly picked up by the neighborhood swingers-"
"Be thankful for once. If you had been my wife, you wouldn’t have met that what’s her name and the kid." Which didn’t last a week, Jim mused silently.
"Katie," said Blair, looking out the window of the truck. Rain was drizzling down the glass, and Blair traced it idly with a finger.
"You okay?" Jim finally asked.
"What about clothes, huh?" Blair asked, and Jim realized the student hadn’t been thinking about what he had supposed. "Simon said I had a hundred dollars to spend. I don’t suppose you want to help me pick something out."
"Sorry, but friendship only goes so far," said Jim. "Call one of your thousands of ex-girlfriends. Or call Conner. She would help."
"Yeah, I bet she would," grumbled Blair. "Chortling with glee the whole time, no doubt."
But he did end up calling Conner, and on the Friday night before the event, they headed off the mall.
"We should have done this sooner!" Blair fretted. "What if I can’t find anything?"
"I was busy, sorry!" she said, shrugging. "And we’ll find something, don’t worry. This is a hoot," she added happily, as the two of them prowled around the Cascade Mall.
"Could you at least pretend to be the one looking for the dress here?" Blair said in a loud stage whisper.
"Why, Sandy, I never thought you would be so hung up over a thing like this," Megan said teasingly.
"Easy for you to say. You won’t be the one chased outside the Mall for being a cross-dresser."
"Okay," said Conner, relenting. "Just look like you’re shopping with me, and we’ll do this together. Let’s go here," she added, pulling Blair over to a specialty shop tucked away in one corner of the mall.
"Let’s go to Penney’s," Blair said. "I don’t need anything fancy."
Megan shot him a look. "You’re going to a film director’s fund-raising party. I’m afraid Penney’s may not have what you need. Besides, this store is a little more…on the edge."
"I want something nice," said Blair. "The key word here being tasteful. I don’t want to show what I haven’t got all over the place. I have a hundred dollars to spend," he added, pleased.
Megan looked at him pityingly. "You haven’t been shopping for a dress in a while, have you, Sandy?"
"A hundred dollars isn’t enough? Because I’m not spending any of my own-"
"We’ll find something," Megan said, jerking the reluctant grad student along with her into the store.
"What kind of place is this?" Blair whispered, picking up a handful of wispy material. "Two hundred dollars for this?" The creation being discussed was a tiny slip dress with thin spaghetti straps. "How much is the material? A hundred and seventy dollars a yard?"
Megan tried not to giggle as she pulled his hand away before the salesperson noticed their shenanigans. "Sometimes you can find something on sale," she said appeasingly.
"Well, it can’t be anything like that," said Blair definitely. "I’m not shaving my whole body, thank you."
In the end they found something at one of the department stores, a mid-range designer dress that was also on sale.
"You’ve got to try it on," said Megan. "There is no way we can tell otherwise." To the woman at the rack, she said, "I’m Inspector Megan Conner with the Cascade Police Department. We’re buying a dress for an undercover situation, and it has to fit a male. Is there somewhere he can try this on without alarming the other customers?"
Blair wondered how many shades of red he was, exactly.
"Uh," said the lady. Megan was still holding up her I.D., and the lady glanced at it, half-dazed. "Well, there’s no one in the back here. Would that be okay?"
"Thank you," said Megan. "Here, Sandy. We’ll start with this size and go from there, okay?"
Blair grabbed the dress and fled into the room, never looking back. Megan looked at the salesperson, smiled.
"Undercover, huh?" the other woman asked. She was probably in her late fifties, with wonderfully regimented hair and a floral dress with a collar.
"Yes," said Megan. "Please don’t mention this to anyone."
"I wouldn’t," said the lady hastily.
Megan thought about elaborating a bit on this just for fun, but Blair soon stuck his head out and made pleading eyes at his companion.
"Ooh, Sandy," Megan said, as he retreated into the relative safety of the back room. Avoiding several headless dummies and a stack of bags, Megan stood back to view the finished product. Then she put her hand to her mouth and started laughing.
"Oh, great," said Blair, putting his hands on his hips. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Megan."
"No, it’s not bad, really. I mean, I like the frock." It was black, with sheer sleeves. "I especially like the chest hair."
"I hear some men like chest hair," Blair retorted smartly.
"Yes, but would Jim be one of those?" Megan speculated. She gave him another critical look. "Actually, I like this, Sandy. It’s a bit loose in the chest, but we’ll fix that. It looks smart. Do you want to try any more on?"
"God, no," said Blair, fumbling for the zipper in the back. "I think this is fine. If I hold my stomach in," he added dryly. He gave himself another look in the mirror.
"That’s what undergarments are for," Megan said sprightly. "Next stop, Victoria’s Secret."
"No way."
"Frederick’s of Hollywood?"
"I’ll get you for this."
"Well, if it isn’t the shoppers," said Jim pleasantly, when Conner and Blair finally returned to the loft. "What did you get, darling?" he asked Blair sweetly. "I hope it’s something fetching."
Blair shot him a dark look.
"We’re going to practice the makeup now," said Conner, ready to get down to business. "He’s going to have to learn how to do it himself for tomorrow night."
"This sounds interesting," said Jim, smiling and walking over to situate himself beside the mock-irritated Blair.
"Get away," said Blair.
"Actually, Sandy," Megan said, "with Jim’s special senses ability, it might be good if he learns how to apply it on you. That way he can help you out tomorrow night."
"Oh no," said Blair. "I trust him with my life, but not my make-up."
"Oh, come on, Chief," said Jim. "I’d love to help you out with that. Maybe some large dots of orange on your cheeks, a big red clown’s nose…." He moved out of the way to avoid the kick aimed for his shins.
"I’m not exactly a make-up expert," Megan warned. "Each person’s face is different color-wise, texture-wise, and I don’t think I’ve ever made up a guy before."
"She doesn’t think," said Blair, sitting down and waiting for her to get out the kit she had so kindly put together for him. "I think I’d remember that, myself."
"That’s because you’ve had a dull and boring life," said Conner. "Mine, on the other hand, has been full of interesting and enlightening experiences."
"Maybe we should hear more," said Jim.
"We have to wash your face first, Sandy," said Megan, moving the whole operation into the bathroom. "Always start with a clean slate, so to speak. And of course, you’ll have to shave right before you do this, too. There are actually make-up kits for men that help with the five o’clock shadow thing," she added. "For stage actors, transvestites, etc."
Blair and Jim exchanged amused glances. "Maybe we should have gone to another type of shop," Blair offered.
"There’s still time," Megan said, not missing a beat. "Here," she added. "It’s better to clean your face with some type of cleanser and not soap, which dries your skin out. But since you don’t have any…."
Jim made a mental note to pick some up.
"We’ll just hit the high spots," said the Australian, handing a wet wash cloth over to Blair and letting him do that part himself. He pulled his hair back first, fastening it firmly into a ponytail.
"Okay," she said, after he was finished, "you need to start with some moisturizer. Since you’re only going to be using it this one night-"
"Unless he likes it," Jim put in, straight-faced.
"-just some kind of drug store stuff will be okay." Megan dabbed a bit of cream on from the stash that she had brought. "This is all clean," she said. "I just put some samples of stuff into some containers for you."
"Megan, I really appreciate this," said Blair truthfully. "I guess I was a bit naïve on the actual cost of being a woman. This way I won’t have to go out and buy all this stuff for myself."
"No problem," she said. "Now I’m just going to teach you to do the rest of this, because you need to be able to do it for yourself."
They started with concealer, which Blair found very interesting, then started on the foundation, powder, blush, eye-shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick.
"This is a lot of stuff," Blair said, staring at himself in the mirror. "Not all women wear this much makeup."
"No, but you’re going to have to," Megan said practically. "But not too much, of course. You don’t want to look overdone."
"I’ve actually had this done to me before," Blair said, trying not to blink as an eye pencil came creeping toward his lid. "I used to date this girl who worked at one of those counters at the mall. One day she thought it would be fun to make me up, so I let her." He gave a half-laugh. "I looked strange."
Jim had said little during this whole process, but he was watching intently as Blair’s eye begin to water under the pressure of having a straight line drawn on its upper lid.
"I don’t know if I can do this," Blair said truthfully. "I nearly cried my eyes out when she tried to put mascara on me."
"Let me try," said Jim unexpectedly, holding his hand out for the appropriate tools.
Megan handed them over obediently and called out instructions as Jim gently held Blair’s head in one hand.
"Just relax," said Jim smoothly. "I’m not going to hurt you, buddy."
"Pretend you’re on some South Pacific anthropological dig," Megan said without thinking. "Undergoing some strange tribal ritual." At the silence that followed, she said, "I’m sorry, Sandy. I wasn’t thinking."
"No," said Blair quickly, "it’s okay, Megan. As far as I’m concerned, I still have all the qualifications to be an anthropologist. I might not be a doctor in it, but I still have my other degrees. And that’s a good point about the tribal ritual. Make-up really is-"
"Shut up," said Jim, trying to draw a straight line. "You’re moving."
"Sorry." Blair snapped his mouth shut. In a moment, however, he wanted to speak again. "Can I talk now?" he asked.
Jim shot Megan a dry look, which she returned. "The hard part about making Sandburg up. Getting him to shut up."
In a moment, Jim was finished, and Blair looked again into the mirror.
"Huh," he said. "Wow. I don’t look like myself."
"You look beautiful," Megan said truthfully. "Wait until I get that lip liner on you, buddy."
Blair looked up at Jim while Megan dug around in her bag for the lip supplies. "What do you think?" he asked. "Too much?"
"No," said Jim truthfully, "I think you look good Sandburg. I’d ask you out."
Blair smiled, ducking a playful cuff to his head.
"Okay," said Megan. "Can you do this, Blair? Or do you want Jim to do it?"
"Let me try it," said the student, turning back to the mirror. With a shaking hand, he started to draw a soft reddish line around his full lips. "Oops!"
They all started laughing at the strange new outline Blair had drawn in on his mouth.
"Here, let’s start again, shall we?" Megan offered, handing Blair a tissue.
"Okay," he said, trying once more. In a moment, however, he said, "Damn. I’ll have to start getting ready tomorrow morning to be on time for the dinner. Jim, can you try?"
Strangely flattered and interested to be asked, Jim took the lip pencil away from Blair and put a hand on the student’s shoulder for balance.
"Open your mouth just a little bit," said Jim, leaning down close to Blair’s full lips, and Blair did so trustingly.
"If I only had a video camera now," Megan smirked.
Blair tried to speak, but couldn’t.
"Sandburg," Jim said admonishingly. "You want this line drawn down to your chin?"
Blair sat still for another moment or two, looked at the smooth skin of Jim’s face so near his own. "Oo ooldn ah oo eh a uh," he said.
"Quit trying to talk," said Jim. Carefully, he traced a solid line around the full curves of Blair’s mouth. It was an amazing mouth, he thought, trying not to get too fixated upon it. So plump and soft, very, very kissable. If it had been on a woman, of course. "Now what did you say?" he asked, pulling away.
"I said you wouldn’t have to wear make-up," replied Blair, happy to be able to talk once more. "Your skin is really good, man."
"So is yours," said Megan. "And you’re got a bone structure to die for. Not that Jim doesn’t, of course."
"Of course," said Jim dryly.
"No, I mean it," said Megan. "You’re both really good looking men, just in different ways. Sandy has more of that…angelic look about him. You know, the pretty little boy." She grinned wickedly while Blair shot her a very dark look. "Jim is all man."
"Oh, no," said Jim delightedly. "Hear that, pretty boy?"
"I heard," said Blair, mock grumpily.
"How much did the dress cost?" Jim asked, and Megan shook her head.
"Just like a man, always has to ask the price."
"I got it on sale," said Blair, "and had a few dollars left over to buy some other stuff. I had to put a few things on my card, but not much."
"I’ll see if I can get it reimbursed for you," Jim said.
"Thank god Conner’s letting me borrow her shoes," Blair said in relief.
"You’re going to wear Conner’s shoes?" Jim asked, surprised.
"I have big feet," Megan said happily.
"And I have relatively small feet, so there you are," said Blair. "I’m glad, too. Do you have any idea of how expensive women’s shoes are, Jim?"
"I was married once," Jim said dryly. "I’m not completely unaware of the expenses of the female lifestyle."
"Too bad your wife didn’t leave any clothes behind," Megan said pertly. "You could have saved some money, Sandy."
‘No offense, but Carolyn’s clothes wouldn’t have fit you, Sandburg," Jim said dryly.
"Are you saying I’m, uh, not the right size here, Jim?" Blair asked, mock dismayed.
"Not me," said Jim frankly. "I like a woman with some meat on her bones. No offense," he added quickly, looking at Conner. "I like slender women, too, of course."
"None taken," said Megan, looking very amused at the whole exchange.
Blair took his make-up off, but he wasn’t real good at that, so his eyes still looked highlighted as he and Jim ate dinner. Throughout the meal, Jim kept catching the glimpse of this new Sandburg and having to look back twice. It wasn’t that Blair looked bad, or strange, his eyes just looked different with the remnant of the makeup still around him.
"What?" Blair finally demanded. "Why are you staring at me, man? What, do I have raccoon eyes?"
"No," said Jim, but he had to laugh anyway at the thought of Blair with raccoon eyes.
"They ought to make asphalt out of this stuff," Blair said later, once again washing his face, this time before bedtime. "Covering for the space shuttle, something. I mean, nothing takes this stuff off."
Jim stood at the edge of the bathroom door and watched, amused.
"I hope I can pull this off," said the student, taking a deep breath and turning to look at Jim. His skin was slightly reddened from all his rubbing.
"You’ll do fine," said Jim, moving into the bathroom. "Here, let me help." And pulling a Q-Tip from the bag of supplies Megan had left, he gently began rubbing at the edge of Blair’s eyes.
"Not that it really matters," said Blair, one hand on Jim’s hip for balance. "I just have to put this stuff back on tomorrow night."
"You’re going to do great," said Jim, suddenly touched by Blair’s dedication to the whole project. Not many partners would have done this with so much enthusiasm and so little hesitation. "You’re going to be the most beautiful woman there."
Blair rolled his eyes up to stare at this roommate as Jim concentrated on his task. Blair could fee the firm grasp of Jim’s hand in his hair to keep the younger man’s head steady.
"Right," he said, trying not to move much as he spoke.
"Would I lie to you?" asked Jim, pulling away. "There. You’re good as new." Then, as he moved back, he said casually, "So darling, am I still sleeping on the sofa this week?"
It took a moment, but then Blair started laughing. "That’s right, sweetheart," he returned. "And I get the big bed upstairs."
"I don’t think so," said Jim, and the roommates said good night and retired to their respective quarters.
The next night, Blair was so nervous that Jim could almost feel the electricity crackling in the air.
"Sandburg, you are going to have to calm down," Jim said firmly. "This is not brain surgery, you know. You just have to show up at a party, that’s all."
"That’s easy for you to say. You’ll be wearing a suit."
They worked patiently at Blair’s make-up. He was so agitated that he kept dropping everything, so finally Jim just batted Blair’s hands away and took over the whole operation.
"Where’s that list Conner left?" Jim asked irritably, pushing through the bag of accoutrements.
"I’ve got the foundation and stuff on," said Blair. "Do my blush."
"Okay," said Jim, regarding the rosy stuff with trepidation. "Less is more, right?"
"You put it right here," said Blair, indicating, and soon even Blair had to admire the way Jim had accented the sharply rolling cheekbones. "Hey, you’re a natural at this," said Blair. "Maybe you should leave the force and apply at Merle Norman."
"Maybe I will," said Jim, pleased at his efforts. He knew the general idea of everything; he had been around too many women in his life not to.
The eye part was the thing Blair dreaded, but again, Jim’s calm manner and good eyesight helped that go smoothly.
"Not bad," Blair admitted, staring at the mirror. He was starting to look really different. Oh, it was obvious he was still the same old Blair, but he was a much fancied up one.
"Mouth," said Jim, and trustingly Blair did as Jim instructed, turning the full lips out into an exaggerated pout.
He has a really great mouth, Jim thought again, concentrating on outlining and filling that mouth in just so. It was…really…. He let this thoughts drift away until finally, the whole operation was finished.
"There are you, sweetheart," he said, taking the young man by the shoulders and turning him toward the mirror.
"Wow," said Blair softly. "You really did a good job."
"Well, I had a lot of good raw material to work with," said Jim.
Blair shot him a look to see if he was teasing or not.
"Now get your gown on, girlfriend, and we’ll see how that looks," said Jim, patting the student on the arm.
After a minute more of studying himself in the mirror, Blair headed for his room to do just that.
While Blair changed, Jim got ready. He hadn’t actually seen the dress; Blair kept putting him off about that. In truth, the younger man had been embarrassed. The whole thing was just so…odd.
Now, however, when Blair finally walked out of the bedroom, Jim stood, astonished. The dress was black, with a scoop neckline that revealed a smooth chest that Blair had taken a very long time to shave that afternoon. The creation had long sheer sleeves, and a hemline that just revealed a bit of Blair’s newly smooth legs. It was strange as hell, seeing Sandburg in a dress, but he looked oddly attractive.
"Where’d you get…these?" Jim asked, indicating Blair’s fake breasts with a small gesture of his hands.
"Now, now, hands off," Blair teased.
Jim frowned. "Like I was going to touch them. Give me a little credit, Sandburg."
"I’m just kidding, jeez. And they are foam rubber or silicone or something. They fit into the bra, which is, I must say, one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever had on my body. Does it look…do I look natural?" he asked rather uncertainly.
Jim surveyed him closely. "Yeah," he finally said. "You do."
"Do I look like a woman?" Blair asked frankly. "Be honest here."
"Sure," said Jim, giving him another once-over. "I mean, it’s hard for me to say, Sandburg, because I know you so well. To me, you look like Sandburg in a dress. But if I didn’t know you…yeah, I could believe you were a female."
"So if I walked into a room you wouldn’t start pointing and saying, ‘Transvestite! Transvestite!’"
Jim shot him a dour look.
"I mean, if you were inclined to shout things out like that," Blair said.
"No," said Jim truthfully. "If I, just as someone not using heightened senses, so to speak, saw you walk into a room, I wouldn’t think anything. Well, I’d think you were good-looking," he added before he really thought.
Blair stared at him. "Really? You think I’m good-looking?"
"Sure," said Jim off-handedly. "You look as good as anybody, Sandburg."
"Oh. Wow. You sure do know how to turn a women’s head, Jim," Blair said dryly.
Jim shrugged. "Sorry. You want romance? Call Fabio."
Blair giggled at the idea of him waltzing in somewhere with Fabio. "Now talk about the original odd couple," he laughed. Then he said, "Oh my god. What if I have to go to the bathroom?"
"Don't drink anything," advised his practical date.
At the dinner, Jim stopped the truck, and then realized Blair wasn’t getting out. "I thought you were a modern woman," he began, but then he sensed the panic.
Blair looked like he was on the edge of a good old-fashioned anxiety attack.
"You okay?" Jim asked, leaning over toward his partner.
"Jim, I can’t do this," said Blair, his eyes as wide as saucers. In the dimness of the truck, he really did look like a beautiful young woman. "They are going to spot me a million miles away."
"What happened to my invincible partner?" Jim asked soothingly, reaching over to rub Blair’s back. "The one that rushes into danger headfirst with no thought to himself? Chief, this is nothing compared to the stuff you’ve been through."
"But this is different," Blair said. "Are you sure you want to be seen with me?"
"Sandburg," said Jim, "I’d be honored to be seen with you."
Blair stared at him for a moment, searching for the truth in Jim’s face, and then he said, "Don’t call me Sandburg in there, you know. It’s Blair. And for god’s sake, don’t call me Chief."
"Whatever you say, dearest," said Jim. "You okay?"
"Yep." Blair took a deep breath, shook himself mentally. "Okay." And he opened the door and clambered out slowly in Megan’s shoes. "Do you think I look dowdy?" he asked, as Jim moved around the truck to him. "I mean, I don’t want to look too sensible. Conner said she thought the dress was just right, sexy, but not too-"
Jim put his hand around Blair’s shoulders and said, "I think you look just right."
Blair looked up at him, and blinked. "Well, okay," he said. He took the arm Jim moved back down and said, "Remember, Jim, I’m your date. You can’t just leave me in a corner somewhere."
"Sandburg, Blair, I never leave you in a corner," said Jim irritably, as they walked through the parking lot to the center.
"You have to treat me respectfully, like I was really your date. You know, look at me, talk to me, that sort of thing."
"Sandburg, I mean, Blair, I always talk to you. At least at functions like this."
They neared the door, and Blair’s stomach started doing flip-flops. Here it is, he thought wildly, as the doorman nodded at them pleasantly. Now we’ll know the truth.
"He was staring at me," Blair whispered at Jim when they moved past the doorman to the entry hall.
"He thought you were good-looking," said Jim.
"Really?" Blair asked. "Or are you just saying that?’
"I was just saying that. But you are good-looking," Jim added. "Tonight, at least."
"Oh, ha." Blair elbowed his date in the ribs under the cover of his coat.
"Now that was real lady-like."
"A year hanging around with Conner and you can still say that?’
"Good point."
The party was in full swing, and they stood there observing it for a moment.
"Henshaw’s over there," Jim said quietly, and they watched the gray-haired man move smilingly amongst the crowd.
"Okay. You lead the way, buddy," Blair said. "I mean, sweetheart."
Not missing a beat, Jim put a gentle hand on Blair’s back and steered him toward a table nearby.
"You don’t have to push me around like I’m cattle," Blair said in a hiss-like tone.
"I’m sorry," said Jim, genuinely surprised. "I was just trying to be couple-like."
"This is the nineties, Jim," Blair replied with aplomb. "You don’t pull your dates around like they’re your property or something.’
"I work hard all day to keep that nice loft up for you, and this is what I get," Jim quipped, and Blair laughed despite himself.
"Yeah," he said dryly. "And speaking of that, you don’t have to introduce me as anything, you know? You don’t have to say, this is Blair Sandburg, my girlfriend, or Blair Sandburg, my significant other. Just say, and this is Blair Sandburg. People can figure it out."
"How about, this is Blair Sandburg, a transvestite friend of mine?"
"Yeah, that’s a good one," Blair replied.
There was a second as they scanned the room, and then Jim said, "Anything else I should know, Dear Abby?"
"I’m sure there are lots of things. I’ll let you know as soon as I think of them."
"I’m sure you will."
A buffet dinner was being served, and Blair said, "I don’t suppose you want to fix me a plate, do you?" That way I won’t have to go up in front of anybody, he was thinking. "I can hold the table," he added helpfully.
"I’ll have you know I’ve never dated anyone who didn’t want to fix her own plate," said Jim, but he knew the reason for the request. He could tell Blair was really nervous. "Okay," he said. "Don’t pick up any strange men while I’m gone."
Oh, god. Blair hadn’t thought about that possible complication. "Don’t worry," he said dryly. "And Jim? I might look delicate, but I’m not. Don’t skip on anything at the buffet."
Jim was still laughing as he moved away.
Jim brought back two plates of food, and then got drinks. Eating, they kept an eye on Henshaw, dropping low comments to each other on the progress of the evening. The politician-to-be started making his way through the crowd, and eventually stopped at their table. He shook both their hands, and smiled brightly at Blair. Of course he didn’t know them, but that didn’t stop him from pretending like he did.
"Wonderful of you to come," he said.
"It’s our pleasure," said Jim. Blair just smiled. He was a bit hesitant of his voice. Could he pass himself off as a woman in that way?
"I wouldn’t worry about that," Jim had said earlier when Blair had mentioned his concern. "If people think they are looking at a woman, unless you have a really deep, startling voice, they won’t think to think otherwise."
The lights were low, and when Blair moved a hand to smooth the neckline of his dress, the gesture caught Jim’s attention. "You okay?" the detective asked softly.
"This…stuff is killing me," Blair whispered.
"Well, if it’s any consolation, you look good," Jim said.
Blair looked over at him, unable to tell if he was kidding or not.
In the center of the room, couples were beginning to fill the suitably lighted dance floor. There was a deejay, and Blair watched in pure admiration as women in three inch heels moved like they were barefoot.
"I’d flunk being a woman," Blair said, shaking his head.
"There’s more to being female then wearing high heels," Jim said dryly.
"You know, Jim, I think that kind of amazingly sensitive comment is more like something I would say," replied his date.
"Women aren’t that different from men," said Jim. "People are people."
"This coming from a known cave-man, too," Blair kidded.
"Hey, I’m treating you pretty well, aren’t I?" Jim asked mildly. "I’m even going to let you pay for tonight to make you feel equal."
"What a guy."
Then Jim looked at Blair and said, "Do you want to dance?"
Blair’s head swung around like another Blair: Linda.
"What?"
Jim shrugged. "Do you want to dance? I thought you’d love that kind of thing, Sand…Blair."
"Fast dance? First of all, I would love to see you fast dance, Jim Ellison. It would almost be worth all my undergarments spinning out of control. And I know you didn’t mean slow dance."
"Sure I did. Why not?" Jim asked, moving to his feet and holding out his hand.
"You’re kidding."
"Blair, do you want to look like a real couple or not?"
"Plenty of real couples are not dancing."
"You going to make me look like a fool here and refuse me?"
Their eyes met.
"No," Blair finally said. Then he added, "What do I do with my pocketbook?"
"Just jam it in the corner of the booth. I can see if anybody starts to mess with it."
Blair just snorted, but did as he was told. Hoped Megan wouldn’t kill him if it got stolen. He had no idea how much those cost, but if it was anything like the rest of the stuff women had to buy, it was probably outrageous.
Blair moved carefully out of the booth, and Jim put a proprietary arm around his waist. Remembering Blair’s earlier comment, though, Jim was careful only to walk with him, not push him along.
"Relax," Jim whispered. "You look great. We want to blend in, Blair." He was proud he had remembered to use his roommate’s first name.
On the dance floor, surrounded by other moving couples, Blair whispered, "Nothing fancy here, okay? I don’t know how not to lead."
Jim just smiled and put his arms around Blair’s waist. Glancing around, Blair noticed what the other couples were doing, and attempted a close facsimile. Jim took his other hand, and soon they were moving to the music.
I’m wearing full makeup and slow dancing with Jim to a Savage Garden song, Blair thought numbly. My world has officially turned upside-down.
Jim watched the guest of honor make his way across the floor amidst his own security guards and other well-wishers. The situation, at least on the surface, looked well-in-hand.
Another slow song came on, an even slower one, and Jim pulled Blair closer to him without really thinking. Blair’s face turned up toward his, uncertain, and Jim just smiled down at him. Sandburg was really a trouper. He deserved a whole hell of a lot after this little job.
He deserves a whole hell of a lot anyway, came a voice inside his head, and Jim tightened his arm around Blair’s back. Felt strange for a bra strap to be there. Blair even smelled different, like make-up and powder. Jim had had to dial his senses down a bit not to be overwhelmed by it, but now he could smell the usual scent of Blair, and he dialed back up a bit. It was comforting somehow, like the warm pressure of the student in his arms.
"You’re a good dancer," Blair said, not knowing what else to say. This was a bit strange. He tried not to get make-up on the collar of Jim’s suit, but he was a bit taller in the heels, so he had better leverage. When Jim pulled him a little closer, Blair just rested his head against Jim’s ear. "I’m so glad no one else from Major Crimes is here," Blair breathed.
Jim smiled. He could feel the thump-thump of Blair’s heart against his chest, the prickly softness of his hair against his face. This is Blair the guy, he reminded himself. Blair the man, Blair the man.
When the song finished, Blair felt a little awkward, but this was just Jim, right? And it was all in the name of the job.
Speaking of, the man they were watching stepped outside onto a darkened terrace with a crowd of others, and Jim immediately said, "Let’s go." He took Blair by the hand and they headed that way, Blair stopping by their booth to get Megan’s pocketbook.
I’m starting to actually feel like Jim’s date, Blair thought, as they held hands all the way out to the terrace. Once there, they tried to look like they weren’t particularly interested in the business at hand: the film director entertaining the crowd of people around him.
Jim leaned against the concrete rail of the balcony, and pulled Blair to him in an embrace. Blair understood immediately what he was doing. He had to be able to watch Henshaw and not look too obvious about it. Smiling up at Jim, Blair took the bigger man’s lapels in his hands and smoothed them slowly.
"Having a good time, darling?" Jim asked.
"Yes," said Blair, a smile playing about his full lips. "Dinner was good, don’t you think?"
Jim did think so. He had happily gone back for seconds.
"I’ve been thinking," said Blair. "How do you feel about trading in your vehicle for a new BMW?"
Jim pursed his lips, but said, "Whatever you want, dear."
"I really like those keen little Corvair convertibles. You know, the kind one can pick up at the antique auto shows?"
"Cut it out, Sandburg," Jim said, leaning over and kissing Blair’s ear as he spoke. "Don’t overdo it."
The kiss on the ear was what shut Blair up, however. He glanced over at Jim’s face, which was so close to his.
"What?" Jim whispered, looking down at him with a look of pure admiration that was, Blair knew for the benefit of their cover.
Oh my god, Blair thought for a moment. What if he kisses me?
"Nothing," said Blair quickly. "Just thinking about how good you look tonight, big guy."
"Really." Jim looked amused, but his face was still only inches away from Blair’s. His hands rubbed firmly against Blair’s back. "You look beautiful tonight too, angel." And he took one of Blair’s hands and kissed the back of it lingeringly. Now Blair could see the telltale lights of mischief in Jim’s eyes.
"You just wait until we get home," said Blair threateningly under his breath.
"I can’t wait," Jim murmured, and he leaned down and kissed Blair right on the mouth.
Surprised, the student went, "Mmph, " under his breath, but realized he shouldn’t struggle. It was a firm kiss, and it lingered just for a second before Jim pulled away, eyes lit in amusement.
Blair, his body suddenly pounding, moved his head blindly against Jim’s and stared into the darkness over his shoulder. God almighty. He could feel his heart racing, could feel…oh, shit. He hoped Jim couldn’t feel that, too. He was so, so thankful for the fullness of the skirt on his dress. Only it wasn’t helping him much now, as close as he was to Jim.
Jim was rubbing big hands up and down Blair’s back, which wasn’t helping the matter at hand, either.
"We need to get the name of these caterers," Jim said blithely, and Blair wanted to knee him in the groin.
"You know what?" he asked, whispering furiously into Jim’s ear. "You don’t just kiss a woman and then act like it’s nothing." Then the tips of the student’s ears burned as he realized he might have spoken just a bit hastily. He didn’t want Jim to think…well, that it was anything other than a stakeout for Blair.
"It’s not nothing," Jim said automatically, pulling back down to look into Blair’s eyes. He took Blair’s head in his hands, moved a thumb along the side of Blair’s curls.
"Watch the hair," Blair whispered. He had worked long and hard on it tonight.
"It’s not nothing," Jim said again, and leaning down, he kissed Blair again. This time, Blair closed his eyes and kissed him back. Even though it was a chaste kiss, neither of them wanting to make a spectacle here on the balcony, Blair could feel his body throb from the sensation.
God, Jim thought, Blair tasted good. Despite the gooey lipstick.
"You’ve got lipstick on your mouth," said Blair, feeling rather silly in various ways, and without thinking, he reached a finger up and moved it across Jim’s lips. Jim kissed the finger, and Blair smiled, eyes shining. This is so…right, Blair thought, surprised that that was the word that popped up. I’m standing right in another man’s space, he is kissing my finger, and it doesn’t feel strange at all. Well, this bra I’m wearing feels strange, but if I could get rid of it….
"Well, if it isn’t Ms. Blair Sandburg," said a quiet voice beside them, and Blair jumped to see Rafe and Conner standing there, grinning like loons. Immediately he started to pull away from Jim, but Jim wouldn’t let him, fastening the younger man to his side with a big arm around Blair’s waist.
Oh my god, thought Blair. How long have they been watching us?
"What are you two lovebirds doing here?" Jim asked, smiling at them as if they were buddies of the social circuit kind.
"Just supporting the man of the evening," said Rafe, his arm going around Megan. She cuddled up next to him for show, batted dark lashes teasingly. "We had a prior commitment, but that one wrapped up earlier then expected."
"Really," said Jim.
"Yes, so Megan’s dad, Simon, suggested we kids just head out over here. But I’m sorry you guys have to leave."
They’re replacing us, Blair thought. And he was surprised to realize that he was actually disappointed.
"From the looks of things, the two of you probably have more romantic plans for the evening ahead," Megan said, trying not to break into laugher, and Blair shot them both a very terrible look. She added, "You do look divine, Blair, darling. You’ll have to give me some make-up tips sometimes."
"Nothing has happened here," Jim said very quietly and seriously, when the other party gave a big laugh at something the director had said. The cops exchanged a few other terse words, then Jim said, "Well, Blair, darling, shall we call it a night?"
"Yes, I do have a big day ahead of me," said Blair.
"Good night," said Rafe, and he leaned over and kissed Blair on the cheek, eyes lit with mischief. "Always good to see you, beautiful. Jim, you’re a lucky man."
"Yes, I am," said Jim, and then he and Blair were making their way to the door.
"My God," said Blair, still trying to keep down his pulse. "I can only imagine what it’s going to be like at the station Monday. Shit."
"Aw, they know we were undercover," said Jim, looking amused. "And what else could we do? I mean, that was our deal."
"Right," said Blair. Our deal, he thought. Of course that was all it was. Our deal. But for a moment, he was back in Jim’s arms, Jim looking so tenderly into his eyes.
I wouldn’t mind seeing that look again, he realized.
"Blair," said Jim, stopping at his truck in the dark parking lot. They were standing at the passenger side door. "You were really a good sport tonight."
Blair looked up at him in the moonlight, and Jim thought, god, he really is beautiful. And then he thought, he looks pretty good without all that stuff, too.
"Well, you weren’t such a bad date yourself," said Blair.
Their eyes met for a moment, and they both felt it. "You want to go home?" Jim asked. "I mean, you’re all dressed up…."
"Home’s fine," said Blair. And then for some reason, he reached over and touched Jim’s arm. "Thanks for the evening," he said, half-kidding, and leaning over, he kissed Jim on the cheek.
And then Jim had his arms around him and was holding him close. "It was my pleasure, Blair," he said.
Oh god, oh god, Blair thought, his heartbeat thrumming through his body. And then Blair raised his face, and Jim raised his, too, and they were kissing, their mouths caught on one another’s for a very long moment.
"Oh, man," said Blair, wrapping his arms around Jim’s neck, and his lips opened, Jim finally getting to taste the warmth of the nectar inside. There were a few soft, open-mouthed nips, then Blair felt Jim’s tongue flick across his lips.
Making a soft sound, Blair opened up wider, and then their tongues were touching, sparks flying as the wetness slid against one another. It was on then; they were lost, eyes closed, arms hard as they kissed over and over and over again, long, desperate embraces of mouth and tongue.
Then Jim pulled back and said hoarsely, "Let’s go home."
Barely able to function, Blair pulled open the door of the tuck and climbed in, smoothing his dress automatically. Then Jim was in the truck too, hesitating, before he turned to Blair and said, "Come here."
Blair went willingly, and in a moment Jim had him stretched out on the seat, the bigger man on top, cuddling Blair to him as he ran a hand down the firm backside of the man beside him.
Too far gone to even make a quip, Blair felt Jim’s hand slide up under his dress and across the stockings, running along the smooth bare skin at the top of Blair’s thigh.
"Uh, you remember that I’m not really a woman here," said Blair rather nervously against Jim’s hot mouth.
"I know," said Jim, stopping for a moment. "Is that a problem here, Chief?"
Oh my god, he called me Chief.
"No," Blair managed, even though he was starting to feel a bit in over his head here. Jim was back to the races, however, stroking between Blair’s legs, pushing them apart, and Blair was way too far gone to complain at this point.
Jim was moving down across Blair’s body now, kissing it, falsies and all, and then he had Blair’s dress pulled up across the black garter belt and matching thong that Megan had gigglingly made him buy at the lingerie shop in the mall.
"Damn, you are hot, Sandburg," Jim said, and Blair just didn’t know what to say to that. Did he mean that he, the male Sandburg, was hot? Or the woman? Or did Jim just have a thing for men in women’s underwear?
I can’t believe this is happening, Blair thought, his head swimming. This was a whole other side of Jim that he never, ever had even seen a hint of before. Jesus, what had Jim been like in the army? It gave Blair a whole new train of thought to ponder. Blair felt Jim’s big hands play under the thong in the back, kneading the student’s firm buttocks. Then Jim’s tongue was licking around the tops of those stockings. Shit, thought Blair, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Damn, that felt good.
Jim’s tongue moved up the crotch of the black satin panties, began licking its wet way underneath Blair’s firmly packaged balls. "You like that, Sandburg?" he asked.
"Yes," breathed Blair. He could feel Jim’s nimble fingers searching for the hook of the garter belt, then it was off, moved down, and Jim's face was in between his legs. "Oh, god," Blair breathed, as Jim pulled the thong down and Blair’s bare crotch was exposed to the cool air.
"Wow," breathed Jim. "Quite a package you’ve got there, Chief." His tone was frankly admiring.
"Jim," said Blair, looking up at him from his position on his back. He had to know. "Have you ever done anything like this before?"
"Not exactly," said Jim, moving up for a moment to look down into Blair’s eyes. He rubbed a gentle hand through Blair’s curls, smoothed an unruly piece back off his forehead.
"I haven’t," said Blair quietly, "but I’m not saying I don’t want to." And it was the total trust in those eyes that broke the bigger man’s heart.
"I won’t let you down, Chief," said Jim, taking a mental breath and exposing his most vulnerable self to the man in his arms.
"I love you," said Blair. "I don’t know if I can just do this, and then, when I get back to wearing jeans again…."
"I don’t care what you wear," said Jim.
"Yeah, but I look like a female now," said Blair. "When I take this make-up off, it will just be me, man," and his tone sounded a little desperate.
"Sandburg," said Jim, running a hand across Blair’s hard cock. "I know you’re not a female, okay? I know that you usually wear cotton and flannel instead of satin and lace. I don’t care."
Blair closed his eyes against the massaging fingers on his crotch. "God, that feels good," he said.
"You feel good,’ said Jim, leaning down and nipping at Blair’s neck, and then he made his way back down Blair’s new dress to the pulsing area that was awaiting his attention.
I want to make you feel so good, thought Jim, grasping Blair firmly in his hand and then proceeding to lick him up and down, slipping his mouth over the head with a big, slurping noise that just made Blair even harder.
"Oh," he moaned as Jim kept up the sucking, his tongue playing along the rim of Blair’s cock until the student was shaking and bucking, too far gone to think of anything but the supreme pleasure that was being visited upon his body. "I’m coming," he whimpered, straining.
"Come for me, baby," Jim said, and with a gasp and a shudder, Blair did so, giving it all up into Jim’s eager mouth.
"Man," said Jim, moving back up Blair’s body and pulling the half-dressed young man to him. "That was great, Sandburg."
"Yeah," Blair agreed, cuddling immediately into Jim’s firm arms. Jim held him like that for a long time, the two of them wrapped as one on the truck’s front seat. Then Blair said, "Do you think we should get up? I mean, what if someone walked by?"
In response, Jim took Blair’s hand and ran it down along his own body even as he kissed the student’s swollen lips.
"I don’t think I care," Jim whispered.
"You’re so hard," Blair whispered back. "Wow. You feel great, Jim." His tone was almost shy.
"You make me like this, baby," Jim kissed into his ear. His tongue worked shivers down Blair’s spine.
"Let me do something about it, then," said Blair, not knowing much about this, but very willing to learn. It’s a whole new world, he thought. A whole new threshold to step through. Could he do it? Could he leave everything he had behind for a man?
Blair, I think you already have, came the dry reply in his head.
They shifted around until Jim was on his back, and together they got the bigger man’s pants and boxers down. In the moonlight, Jim’s cock was shining; erect and rampant in its nest of brown curls.
"Wow," Blair said, admiring him. He had never been this intimate with another man’s cock before. He stroked it with interest, running his thumb along the underside of the rim. Underneath him, Jim groaned, and Blair glanced at his partner’s face, fascinated to see Jim close his eyes in passion, his mouth slightly opened. Determined to make it even better, Blair leaned down and gently ran his tongue up the detective’s hard shaft.
"Ah…." It was another groan, and encouraged, Blair continued, trying to make it the most memorable blow job ever, which took some doing since he had never done anything like that before. Soon he had quite a rhythm going, his wet mouth sliding up and down over the head of Jim’s cock.
"Yes, Chief, yes," said Jim, and then the bigger man was swelling in his mouth, taking up all the space there, and he didn’t even have to say, "I’m coming, Blair, I’m coming," before spilling hotly into the student’s mouth.
Blair swallowed, even though it wasn’t something he had ever considered doing before this moment. Then he lay there, breathless, on Jim’s firm abdomen.
"Come here," Jim whispered, lacing fingers into Blair’s hair and Blair scooted up and positioned himself on the half-dressed man.
"Hi," said Blair rather shyly, wrapping his arms around Jim’s neck.
"Hey, baby," Jim said very warmly. Completely done in by that last little venture, he nevertheless managed to drop a kiss on Blair’s forehead.
"Shit," Blair remembered. "I bet my makeup is all over the place. All over my face, all over you…."
"That’s okay," said Jim. "It’s not the first time I’ve had lipstick on my cock," he grinned. Then, at Blair’s face, he added, "but it’s the last time, of course. Unless you’re starting to like wearing the stuff."
There was a small silence, and Blair replied, "You sure you’re going to be okay about this? Because I know you usually go with women, man."
"Blair," said Jim, his fingers tangling in the unruly curls, "I wouldn’t be lying here with you if I wanted a woman, would I?"
"I don’t know," said Blair, feeling very unsettled at the moment. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, really. It had all happened so fast. "I just…I want to make sure you aren’t going to have any regrets, Jim."
Jim moved Blair further into his arms and kissed him slowly on the mouth. "No regrets, Chief. As far as I’m concerned, Simon just did me the biggest favor of my life."
"Really?" Blair asked, eyes hopeful and very, very vulnerable.
"Really. I mean, that buffet was great, you know?" and then Jim got out of the way as Blair smacked him smartly on the chest.
"Hey, easy there, tiger, okay?" And Jim was cradling him again with very soft eyes. "Seriously, Sandburg. No regrets. Hell, it’s been just us for some time now anyway, right?"
"Right," said Blair, moving an exploring finger across Jim’s jaw.
"Are you really surprised at this?" Jim had to ask, and Blair’s eyes widened.
"You mean, you thought…."
Jim shrugged. "Didn’t you?"
"Maybe. Sometimes." Blair traced the corner of Jim’s lips. "I guess we were headed toward that since the first day we met."
"Maybe if you’d have shown up at that hospital in a dress," Jim said, and then smiled at Blair’s hard look. "Okay, okay. I’m just kidding." But Blair was already starting to pull away. "Chief, I’m just kidding, okay? You being in a dress had nothing to do with the fact that things got started tonight. Well, I guess it did, but only because you being in a dress let me get away with a few things I hadn't been able to before."
"Are you saying you wanted to dance with me? Touch me like that?" Blair asked, surprised.
Jim shrugged. "Let’s just say that it felt very natural."
"Yeah," said Blair, marveling, "it did to me, too." And he leaned up to let their mouths meet again, this time holding for a very long kiss.
"Well, I guess," said Jim, "that we better go home, Chief. We both have a lot of cleaning up to do," and he gave a wry smile.
"Yeah," said Blair, sitting up, and then he glanced in the rear view window. "Oh my god! Jim, look at my face!"
Jim was laughing as he pulled his pants up and slid into the driver’s seat. "Now you can have a little bit more sympathy to what your girlfriends go through in the morning. Not," he added, "that you’re ever going to have any more of those."
"Absolutely," said Blair, grinning.
"This okay with you, Chief?" Jim asked, suddenly turning serious. "I mean, the serious, forever part of it?"
"I wouldn’t have it any other way," said Blair sincerely. "I’m done with all that, Jim. From now on, there’s no turning back. Just you and me, buddy."
"Glad to hear it," Jim said, taking Blair’s hand and squeezing it, and then Jim put the truck in gear and drove his date home.