First of all, Jim Ellison had been looking forward to this weekend away for some time, and when the highway patrol closed the road to the cabin he had rented, he was not a happy camper.

Secondly, his roommate, Blair Sandburg, came looking for him, worried despite explicit instructions not to be, and Blair’s car slid into a ditch so therefore, they were both stuck in a run-down motel room.

It went without saying that there was only one tiny bed in the rinky-dink room, and Jim, jaw set, said, "You can have the floor, Sandburg."

"Well, excuse me for living," huffed Sandburg. "Maybe you’d just like me to sleep in the car."

"Be my guest," said Jim, and Blair stood by the door like a pitiful puppy until Jim said, "Oh, don’t start with that," and disappeared into the bathroom.

Blair had happily recovered by the time Jim re-emerged, the younger man already sacked out on the bed and eating a bag of dried fruit that looked absolutely disgusting.

"It’s all I had," said Blair, moving over to that Jim could sit down on the tiny mattress.

Wordlessly, Jim sighed and offered some potato chips from the stash he had brought with him. Blair refused, which Jim was counting on, and then the bigger man stared moodily out at the snow and wondered how come things like this always happened to him. "I hope you have money," he said bad-temperedly to Sandburg. "That tow truck will cost fifty bucks, at least."

Blair said nothing, which Jim knew was a prelude to a hard luck story and money wheedling, so he pre-empted with, "I told you explicitly that I wanted to be alone this weekend."

"I know," retorted Blair sharply "You’ve told me a hundred times since this morning."

"What gets into you sometimes, Sandburg?" Jim asked, in his most exasperated voice. "I mean, it doesn’t take a fucking genius to understand, ‘I need some space.’"

Blair said, "Okay, well, I’m sorry. Do you want me to start walking back in the snow?"

Jim muttered something distinguishable only to sentinels, and Blair repeated, "I’m sorry, Jim. If the weather had been good I would never, ever have come looking for you, I mean, like I don’t remember what happened last time I did that, but it was bad, man, and the roads were closing, and well, excuse me, but I was worried."

"I was fine, Sandburg," said Jim, but his tone was a bit nicer now. After all, Sandburg probably really was just worried.

"Well, you know, if you would call sometime…." Blair turned around, preparing for a good pout.

"I’m not used to living with a baby-sitter, that’s all, Sandburg."

"Oh, really? Well, excuse me, but we’ve been living together for four years, big guy, and I seem to remember a lot of occasions during that time when we did things like call each other on the phone and let each other know where we were. It’s not like we don’t spend almost every minute of the day together."

"My point, precisely," said Jim, and raised a superior eyebrow.

Blair flipped between the two television channels they got and said nothing else.

That night they carefully slipped into bed; it was barely a full mattress, and certainly not big enough for two men making a point of staying out of each other’s personal space. After Blair drifted off, all bed territory hell broke loose; Jim could not sleep for pushing the younger man back to his side of the bed. Once he woke up to find Blair’s foot apparently attached to his; when Jim moved an ankle, Blair’s foot went right along with it as if magnetically connected. When Blair finally did move, he dragged his foot right across Jim’s, sharp toenails easily denting sentinel skin through loosely woven woolen socks.

"Shit," said Jim, grabbing his pillow and making a great show of turning over, but it went unseen; Blair merely took a loud snuffling breath and shifted, too.

Around four-thirty in the morning, Jim woke to find Blair pressed right up against him from head to toe, and no amount of pushing seemed to dislodge the warm bundle at his side. Very irritated, Jim thought, okay, Sandburg, you’re so determined to get into my space, I think I’ll teach you a little lesson here. And he just reached out and wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him to him and holding him there. "Let’s see how you feel about that in the morning," he said triumphantly, but to his surprise, Blair just snuggled closer, sighed something in this sleep, and then…and then….

Blair was pushing his hard cock into Jim’s leg. Shocked, Jim froze, the phrase table leg rising up and hitting him over the head, but Blair continued, throwing his arms around Jim’s neck and thrusting hard against Jim’s thigh. Jim felt his own cock move in a sympathetic twitch, and before he could reel in his whirling senses, Blair was coming, moaning deeply in his sleep, cock rubbing harder and harder, and Jim was completely overwhelmed in a deluge of sensation and smell. Holding onto the warm body in his arms, Blair’s unruly hair all in Jim’s mouth and nose, Jim felt a sudden feeling of absolute emotion well up from deep inside of him.

As Blair recovered, nuzzling sleepily against Jim’s chest, Jim thought above his pounding heart how Blair was undoubtedly dreaming of Sonia or Veronique or Sari, when the student took in a deep, shuddering breath, and murmured, "Jim."

When Blair woke up alone in bed the next morning, he thought sleepily, Jim’s gone. Then he felt the stickiness in his boxers and thought okay, wet dream. Then he thought, god! Opening his eyes, he looked up to see Jim standing at the window looking out at the snow.

"Morning, Sandburg," said Jim, not turning around.

"Morning, Jim," said Blair. He sounded nervous. Shit, he hoped he hadn’t made a fool out of himself or anything last night. That bed had been small. He could vaguely remember bumping into Jim upon several occasions.

"Sleep well?" Jim asked, and if almost sounded like he had a trace of humor in his voice. Oh, dammit, thought Blair.

"Reasonably, why?" asked Blair, very suspicious.

Jim turned around, face straight, and said, "No reason."

He knows, thought Blair. Well, of course he knows, he’s a damn sentinel, and then he again wondered, what in the hell did I do last night? Did I wake Jim up?

He took the coward’s way out and snuck into the bathroom. Shutting the door behind him, he stripped for a shower. This could be rather embarrassing. Maybe Jim would be kind and not tease him about whatever it was he had done. Maybe Jim would even be a regular Boy Scout and not mention it around the station. That would certainly be worse.

When Blair came back out, the incident almost already forgotten, Jim said, "The snow’s not letting up."

"What does that mean?" Blair asked.

After a moment, Jim shook his head and said, "I don’t know. I’m going to talk to the desk clerk."

Blair went, too, and the man, a caretaker who lived behind the premises, said, "Ain’t nothin’ going up and down this here road today."

Discouraged, Jim tried to call Simon for help from the well-connected, but the mountains were blocking the cell towers and the local phones were down.

"We’re lucky we have electricity," said the man, and Blair raised a sardonic eyebrow at Jim.

Nonetheless, the frustrated sentinel went for a walk, and Blair wisely let him go, retiring to work on some schoolwork he had stuffed into his backpack. When Jim came back, he brought some lunch he had stowed in the truck, and they ate sandwiches and potato salad that was pretty darn good, considering.

Jim had some cards with him, and although this was absolutely not the way he had wanted to spend his weekend, he gave up his reclusivity for an afternoon of poker and blackjack with Blair.

Around dinnertime, Jim stood up and growled, "This is unbelievable."

Blair patiently said nothing, and Jim said, "I’m going to talk to that man again," and Blair let him.

Sometime later Jim came back with supper, pasta made on his camp stove, and the whole thing was almost like an adventure when the room went dark and it really was an adventure.

"Crap," said Jim, jumping up.

The man said they had lost power, which meant heat, and invited Blair and Jim to sit by his wood stove out back. Blair thought this was a fine idea, so they sat for a while as the man told stories of other, past glorious snowstorms, until Jim could stand it no longer.

"You can stay here if you’d like," he told Blair, "but I’ve got blankets and coats. That room will be okay."

So Blair reluctantly took his leave, shooting Jim dagger looks, and they went back to their dark room. Jim had a lantern, which of course he didn’t really need, but he did turn it on for Blair’s sake as the two got ready for bed

He’ll be all over me tonight, Jim thought, and for some reason, that thought didn’t really bother him at all.

Remembering the aftermath of the night before, Blair tried to stay carefully on his side until Jim said, "And if you decide to hump my leg again tonight, Sandburg, don’t steal all the covers as you’re doing it."

There was a horrified silence from Mr. Sandburg’s side of the bed.

"Kidding," said Jim.

"God, I hope so," said Blair fervently. After a while, he said, "You were kidding, right?"

Jim said, "Well, let’s just say that you deserve every bit of that table leg remark."

"Jim!" Blair sat straight up in the dark.

"Oh, don’t get so excited, junior, it was no big deal," said Jim, which didn’t make any difference at all to Blair.

"No big deal? Jim, you’re kidding, right?"

"You really don’t remember?" Jim asked.

"You’re not kidding?" At Jim’s silence, Blair said, "Man, I am like, so embarrassed here, I don’t even remember…Jim, you’re not jerking me around here, are you?"

Jim chuckled and said, "I wasn’t the one doing the jerking," and dissolved into satisfied laughter.

"Oh, that’s so funny," Blair said, starting to feel miffed. "So, so funny, man," and he was suddenly very conscious of how close their current quarters were.

That night the snow swirled down, and Jim and Blair huddled under their blankets against the cold.

"It is so dang cold in here," Blair complained.

"You can go sit out with Jethro by the wood stove," his companion said placidly.

"I’m too cold to move," Blair replied.

"How can you be cold? You’re like sleeping with a furnace." And you come with these fetching little moans, Jim thought, and despite everything, his cock stirred at the thought.

After a while, Jim heard Blair’s breathing settle into sleep, and once again he found himself remembering the night before; the smell of Blair’s sweat and arousal, the way his hair brushed against Jim’s mouth and nose, the feel of his solid, warm body against his own. The urgent way the younger man had thrust against his thigh, his quick moans and the way he had held onto Jim as he climaxed.

And he found himself waiting for Blair to move against him once again.

Finally Jim went to sleep, but sometime in the middle of the night, he woke up, Blair plastered all over him. "Chief," he said. "Chief"

Blair mumbled something indistinct and snuggled up close. This time, Jim just wrapped his arms around his partner and pulled the young man to him. Burying his head in Blair’s curls, he breathed deeply, and went back to sleep.

Sometime later, Jim found Blair’s leg thrown over him, and when Jim automatically shifted, he felt the bulge in the young man’s crotch. At the movement, Blair automatically moved back, and when Jim didn’t pull away, Blair thrust again, and again. This time Jim was along for the ride, and he felt his own cock harden as Blair pushed. The moan uttered this time was from Jim’s throat. He quickly stifled it, but when Blair pushed back, Jim found his own pulse race as Blair thrust harder and harder. Then Blair shifted and straddled Jim’s thigh, his own leg solid against Jim’s cock as they used each other to push toward completion.

After Blair came, shuddering and moaning, and Jim did the same, Blair slid down against him and still wrapped in his arms, went right to sleep.

It took Jim a bit longer.

The next morning, Blair woke sprawled across the empty bed, boxers sticky and wet. Jim was nowhere to be seen. By the time Blair was sitting up, however, Jim burst in, food in hand. For some reason he couldn’t meet Blair’s eyes. That was okay. Blair said something unintelligible, and headed for the bathroom.

When he came back out, he said, "Still snowing?"

"No, there’s been a break, but they expect more. Roads are still closed, though."

"Any word on the power situation? It’s too cold to take a shower."

"No power or phone."

"I’m really cold."

"You need something hot for breakfast." Using the small camp stove, Jim made hot oatmeal and steamy apple cider to drink as Blair rubbed his hands together and tried to stay warm.

"I’m about ready to walk out of here," said Blair, and then Ed knocked on the door with a small kerosene heater.

"I just had one extra," he said, "and if you guys won’t stay back with me, take this. It’s going to be awhile, I think. The radio said there were some trees down on the road."

"Maybe I should go down the road and help," said Jim.

Ed said, "Too dangerous to get down there."

Blair sat by the heater, shivering, and Jim stood at the window and watched the clouds. "I’m going to have to get out of here, or I’m going to go crazy," the bigger man said.

"Where are you going to go?" Blair asked, looking up at him, and Jim just looked down at him.

"Nowhere, I guess," he said.

"Wanna play cards?" said Blair, and they did, but as they did, Jim started thinking about the night before. About Blair coming against his leg, and he coming against Blair’s. And then he started thinking about a whole day with nothing else to do.

At some point, Blair slammed down the cards and said, "I’m sorry, Jim, but I can’t do this anymore," and he scrubbed his eyes with his hands and lay back on the bed. Jim could see a small strip of Blair’s bare belly where his tee shirt had pushed up over his jeans.

Jim sat down on the bed beside him. He had opened the curtains, so he could see the snow outside, but even with that white scene, the room was dark, shadowy. "You could take a nap," he suggested.

"Then I won’t be able to sleep tonight." Blair sighed. "I probably should wash out some clothes. I’m starting to smell pretty foul."

Jim had to look away.

"Especially since I’m the table leg," said Blair and Jim looked back at him. "Two nights in a row?" Blair asked.

Jim swallowed. What did Blair remember?

"Don’t tell me," Blair said, and Jim shrugged. "Did I wake you up?" Blair asked.

Jim, feeling very guilty now, said, "You didn’t bother me."

"But you heard."

Jim moved uneasily.

"God." Blair rubbed his face. "Well, sorry, what can I say?"

"Blair," said Jim and Blair looked up, concerned. "About last night…."

"Yes?"

Now Jim rubbed his face. "Uh…nothing," he said, chickening out, and got up and walked over to the small window. Amazingly, nothing outside had changed since the last time he had looked say, uh, five minutes ago.

"What?" asked Blair, from his spot on the bed. "You might as well tell me. Just let me have it. Is it really bad? Did I…oh, god, Jim, tell me I didn’t…." Blair sighed loudly and bounced his head off the pillow.

"We both did."

There was a small silence.

"What?"

"We both did," said Jim.

"Both did what?" Blair wanted to clarify.

"We were both table-humpers last night, Chief. The unusual thing is, we used each other as the table."

"What?" Blair’s mouth was agape now.

"Yeah." Jim almost sounded dryly amused.

"Shit. What exactly…"

"Sandburg, I woke up and you were humping my leg, just like you had done the night before. Only this time, you put your knee against me and did me the same favor, so to speak. I’m sorry, I should have woken you up, it was awful, if you want me to leave, I’ll understand, but I swear to God I did try to wake you up the night before but you wouldn’t."

That was the most Jim had spoken the whole trip, and Blair sat and blinked, trying to take it all in. "You’re saying I…came against your leg?"

"Oh, you’ve done that twice now," said the bigger man.

Blair looked sick. Then he thought about the rest of Jim’s words. "And you humped me back?"

"Yes, I did," said Jim. He looked very sorry about it, as sorry as Jim could manage, in fact. "I’ve got no excuse for it except that you had your knee in my groin and I sort of went with the moment there."

"You’re saying you came against my knee."

"You want me to draw you a picture here, Sandburg?"

"No," said Blair. "Jim, you came against my leg, really?" The student blinked again, rubbed a nervous hand through his hair. "Okay. I have to say that I’m treading on a bit of foreign ground here."

"Oh, like I’m not."

Blair was looking at him again. "I’m sorry," he said. "I don’t know what to say. I can pull out the right excuses, of course, we’re two grown men in a very small bed, and I was having some kind of dream-"

"You said Jim," said Jim.

"What?"

"The first night, when you came against my leg? You said, ‘Jim.’"

Blair colored quite fetchingly, actually. "Huh, I don’t think so, man. You must have had your hearing dialed way down."

Jim said nothing, and Blair turned away, made another nervous hair gesture. "You had to have misheard that, Jim."

"Yeah, I do that a lot." Jim pursed his lips dryly.

"Well, I was no doubt dreaming of someone else, but at the end was aware enough to know that you were there. Doesn’t mean I was actually associating you with the sex, man."

Jim sat back and crossed his arms. This was most interesting. "This really bothers you, doesn’t it, Sandburg?"

"Uh, well," and then Blair looked at his roommate. "Doesn’t it bother you?"

Jim shrugged. "I was in the army, remember? I’ve seen just about everything. So what if you did a little leg pushing in the night? Truthfully, I’m the one at fault here, Chief. I was awake and still used your leg to get myself off." Jim looked a bit grim at these words.

"Well, what were you supposed to do? You tried to wake me up, right? Right, Jim?" And the younger man looked so trusting that Jim had to look away.

"I could have tried harder, I guess," Jim had to admit. "I just…I didn’t want to embarrass you, and…it had already happened the night before. I don’t know, it happened so fast, Sandburg. One minute I’m awake, the next you’re slipping your knee in between my thighs and there I was."

"Man," said Blair. I could have semen on my leg, he thought wildly. That was really, really strange.

"I’m sorry," said Jim sincerely. "I’ll sleep out in the truck tonight."

"The hell you will," said Blair. "You’d freeze to death out there."

There was a small silence.

"I guess I can bunk out with Little Abner out back," Jim mused.

"No," said Blair. "I don’t want that, man. I don’t…care about what happened. Sure, I’m a little…unsettled, but that’s just because I don’t usually go around humping men’s legs, no matter how indiscreet you might think me."

Jim smiled.

"And I don’t care about what you did. Sure, I’d rather you not make a habit of getting off against my leg while I’m asleep, but that’s nothing personal, Jim, I mean, I’d feel that way about anybody I was sleeping with. If there’s going to be sex going on, I want to be involved," and then Blair realized what he had said and trailed off. "God," he sighed, even as Jim’s smile deepened. "You know what I mean, right?"

"Yeah," said Jim. He stood, patted Blair’s arm lightly. "It’s okay, Sandburg." His face grew serious. "But I promise that if that would ever happen again, I will wake you up or climb out of that bed."

"Deal," said Blair, staring out the window. For a moment, they both stood there, looking at the world of white that imprisoned them. Then Blair said, "So, was it, like, good?"

"What? Oh, no, Chief," said Jim, shaking his head, but Blair had turned to watch him now, had a small smile playing at the corner of those full lips.

"What?" Blair asked innocently, shrugging. "You know how I am, Jim, I can’t help but be curious. I’ve never done that sort of thing before."

"So you’re strictly been women only, huh?" Jim asked, and Blair stared, surprised.

"Yes, what did you expect?" He narrowed his brows. "What about you? Only women, right?"

Jim nodded, but Blair was still suspicious.

"Jim, like, really, here? I mean, I wouldn’t care, you know, if it was otherwise." Blair could feel a small flicker of excitement pop to life in his stomach. "I don’t have a problem with same sex stuff, I’ve just never done it, that’s all."

"No, I’ve never swung the other way," said Jim, still not meeting his eyes. "Not really."

"Not really?" Blair breathed, moving over closer. "Well? You gonna tell me, or are you just going to drive your best friend crazy?"

"This is a bad idea," said Jim, finally looking up.

"What? Telling me? I’m discreet, Jim, you know that. I never tell anything that goes on between us. I hope you know that."

Blair was starting to sound indignant, so Jim quickly interceded with, "There’s nothing to tell."

But Blair was watching him now, even as Jim walked over to get his water bottle, came back down and sat on the bed, back to Blair.

"I don’t think that’s true," said Blair, moving over to sit beside him. They faced the wall, only a few feet between their knees and the side of the small room.

Jim rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Well," he said, "I never went the other way, Chief, but I did…know someone who went out with a woman one time and it turned out to be a man."

"Really?" asked Blair, bouncing once on the bed out of general interest and excitement.

"Yeah, it was in one of those Asian ports, you know? A lot of that going around. He met this tall, good-looking woman, really fit, you know? Lots of muscles."

Sounds like Lila, thought Blair dryly.

"They went out, had some drinks, the person I know, well, he didn’t have a clue. Things were going well, she was intelligent, well-spoken, it had been some time since he had had some attractive company, so…they got a room and started kissing."

"And?" asked Blair, barely able to contain himself.

"And…she got up and said she had to tell…the guy something. That when she went out with soldiers she always wanted to be up-front. And she put the guy’s hand on her crotch, and guess what was there?"

"Oh my god," said Blair.

"Yep," said Jim ruefully. "Big surprise, even though, well, everyone had heard stories about that kind of thing, you know."

"And?"

"Well." Jim shrugged. "What? The guy liked her, she had shown him a good time. It wasn’t like it was going to get back to the other guys or anything, not if he was discreet. So…hell, better than nothing, right?"

"You’re joking!" Blair breathed. "So the guy did it anyway?

Another shrug. "Welcome to the real world, Sandburg."

"Man," said Blair. "Wow. And this guy was completely heterosexual, right?"

"Completely," said Jim, trying to hide a small smile.

"Well," said Blair, shaking his head. "I guess that’s not too strange. You wouldn’t believe all the strange sexual customs there are out there."

"And let me guess, you’ve read about all of them," Jim said dryly. He got up, walked in front of Blair and went back to the door and looked out. Behind him, Blair turned and watched him, pursed his lip speculatively.

"So," Blair said. "This guy, he told you this?"

"Uh-huh, Sandburg. We are not going there."

"Oh, come on."

"No," said Jim. "I know what your devious little mind is wanting to know, and you might as well forget it. I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"So it could have been you," Blair said.

"Sandburg," Jim said, turning around wearing his familiar mock-grump face.

Blair was staring at him, fascinated. "That is wild, Jim. I don’t know what I would do if I were in a spot like that."

"Let me guess," said Jim dryly. "Table leg time, anyone?"

"Jim! I’m not that bad, man. I do have some standards, you know." When Jim didn’t look convinced, Blair said, "Maya."

Jim pursed his lips.

"I’ve never told you this, but she came to me one night and asked me to be her first lover, Jim. I said no."

Jim still said nothing, but it was obvious he was listening.

Blair stood, started pacing the floor. His hands began to gesture in their old familiar ways. "I was really moved by that, Jim. I mean, here was this girl asking me to be her first. She had brought me some cake, a tradition type thing, sort of tied in with her mom and dad. I realized that she was really, really, serious."

"And let me guess, it was time for the old Sandburg anxiety attack," Jim said dryly.

Blair looked at him, surprised. "Is that what you think it was? Sure, I didn’t know if I was ready to get that serious, I mean, it was obvious that she was getting serious, but-"

"I thought you said you were in love with her."

"I thought I was." Blair sighed, paused for a moment. "But that night…Jim, I just couldn’t have slept with her, couldn’t have shared such a serious, special moment with her and know that I was just lying to her, you know? About the undercover stuff."

"Sure," said Jim. "I’d hope no one would do that to her."

"Well, what I’m saying here, Jim, is that I’m not the table leg humper that you always accuse me of being. Because if I were, then I wouldn’t have said no, right?"

"Chief, being a table leg humper does not automatically mean that you’re a bad person. Taking advantage of Maya that night would have been wrong, pure and simple. What I’m saying here is that I think if you were out on a date with someone you found attractive, things were going well, getting hot and heavy, well…I don’t know if you would say no if you found a penis between someone’s legs instead of something else."

Blair blinked, raised his eyebrows. "Well, damn, just get frank here, Jim."

Jim shrugged. "That’s all I was saying," he said, turning back to the window.

"So you think that I would sleep with a guy if that’s what was being offered?" Blair asked, moving into view again.

Another shrug. "You’ve humped my leg for the past two nights, Chief, and last I looked, I was a guy."

Blair searched for words for a second. "Yeah, but that’s different, Jim. I was asleep."

"You knew it was me, Sandburg. You said my name."

"Okay," said Blair at Jim’s side, "what are you really saying here, Jim?"

"Nothing," said the bigger man. "Just making a point, that’s all."

"So what about you?" Blair returned. "You were doing the old leg hump routine, too, and you were awake. There’s no doubt at all that you knew who was humping your leg, Jim. What about that?" he asked, triumphant.

"I never said that bothered me," said Jim, barely unable to stop a smile at the look on Blair’s face.

"Oh, you…" said Blair, when he realized he was being had. "Man." He looked back at Jim to try to really discern the expression there. "You’re kidding, right?"

This time Jim was at least half-truthful. "Hell, I don’t know, Sandburg. As you so aptly pointed out, I was awake, and I did know what was going on. I don’t feel very proud of that, believe me." He actually felt pretty shitty about it. "I’m supposed to be your Blessed Protector, not take advantage of you while you’re asleep."

"I moved the knee though, right?" asked Blair. "I was the one who…"

"Straddled my leg?" asked Jim dryly, and Blair flushed at the bluntness of those words.

"Man," said the rather agitated student.

"So, I’m planning to take the floor tonight, Chief. I have a sleeping bag, and that will be fine."

"Jim, no, that is so stupid. So you got a bit carried away, so what, right? I mean, it’s not like it would happen again, right?" But he looked up to make sure.

Jim said nothing, turned away. "Frankly," he said. "I’m not happy that it happened the first time. In fact, the more I think about it, I don’t like it."

"What did you think at the time?" Blair asked curiously, a small smile playing about his lips.

"What?"

"What did you think at the time? Hey, I’m curious, okay? I tried to ask this before, but you cleverly changed the subject," he added grouchily.

"Sandburg, I woke up, I was hard, you pushed against me, I came. There you are. Could we make this any worse than it already is?"

"Hey, I came against you twice, man. How about that?"

Despite himself, Jim couldn’t help but smile. He remembered waking up in the night, Blair’s warm body snuggled against his, the way his hair scrunched underneath Jim’s nose.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing," said Jim.

"No, this is about me, I can tell. Don’t tell me I did something else? I did, didn’t I?" Blair asked, looking suspicious.

"No, you didn’t," said Jim in a mock-annoyed tone.

"But you were laughing at something, I saw you."

"You’re paranoid."

"Trust me, when it’s something to do with you, I’m entirely justified," Blair said dryly.

Jim opened the door, crunched out into the snow. "I’m getting some lunch," he said. "We have turkey or…turkey."

"Hey, bring the whole bag in," said Blair.

"No, it will stay colder out here."

"That’s debatable," said Blair, rubbing his hands together in front of the space heater.

They ate sandwiches and potato chips for lunch, and afterwards, Jim said, "Wanna see if we can walk down the road a bit?"

"Sure," said Blair, who was very stir-crazy, so they did. There was nothing of real importance to their situation to see, but the white winter world was absolutely breathtaking. Even the ice on the power lines was beautiful, albeit dangerous. Jim pulled Blair away from it whenever he got too close.

"I don’t feel like dragging your fried ass home," he complained.

"Gee, Jim, you’re all heart."

The stillness of the storm’s aftermath was deeply penetrating. Blair said, "It’s so quiet out here, man. What can you hear?"

Jim closed his eyes for a moment, let his hearing reach out past the road into the deep woods on all sides. "There are some creatures moving around in the snow," he said. "Somewhere, far away, someone has a chain saw. I can hear our host snuffling around out back in his little lair." Then he opened his eyes and looked around.

Up close in the stark light of winter, Blair regarded his sentinel. Jim’s nose, like his, was reddened from the cold, and his pale blue eyes were as icy as the scenery around them. The lines at their corners told of the life this man had lead. He was beautiful, Blair thought.

"What?" asked Jim, glancing back at his companion.

"Nothing," said Blair. I’m happy to be here, he thought. Despite everything.

"Uh-oh, I know that look," said Jim, as they continued their little walk. "What kind of new perverse test do you have on your mind now, Sandburg?"

"Nothing, man," Blair said, laughing a bit. He huddled in his jacket, gloved hands in pockets.

"You okay?" Jim asked, noticing.

"Yeah, I’m fine," said Blair. He reached out and patted Jim on the back. "Just glad to be here," he added.

Jim nodded, understanding. "Yeah," he said. He pursed his lips, looked around at the snow, and gave Blair a quick caress on the back of the head. "It’s not too bad out here after all."

They stood there for a moment, two best friends for all practical purposes alone in a blanketed world of white, and Blair thought, there’s no where else on Earth I’d rather be right now then with this man, at this moment.

Then he thought, and I really don’t want things to ever change.

"Ready to go back?" Jim asked after a while, and Blair nodded. His feet were getting cold. The slight incline of the return trip made things a little slippery, and Jim helped steady Blair with a firm hand as they tried to find the best places to walk.

When they got back to the motel, the manager stepped out and said, "Power’s on for a while, at least. Just thought you’d want to know."

"Shower!" Blair said delightedly, and hurried on in. When he came out, opening the door of the bathroom to let out a blessed cloud of steam, he said dismally, "I’ve not got any boxers left. Guess I need to do some washing, huh?"

"I would volunteer some of mine," said Jim, "but I’m afraid friendship only goes so far."

"I don’t know," said Blair, in his sweatpants and layers, "I’d say our friendship has been going pretty deep lately, pal."

Jim shot him a dry look and headed for his own shower. When he stepped back out, Blair passed him to wash out some clothes in the sink. His hair was hanging in wet ringlets on a towel around his neck

"Maybe our host will let you use his washing machine," Jim suggested.

"If he has one."

"Good point." Jim lounged on the bed and watched a very bad reception of some soap opera.

"You know, I actually got hooked on one of those when I was an undergrad," said Blair, joining him on the bed. His wet boxers hung all over the shower stall in the bathroom. Jim glanced over at him, could tell he wasn’t wearing any underwear at the moment.

"What?" Blair asked defensively.

"Nothing," Jim said, but he looked like he might snicker at any moment.

"Laugh it up," said Blair. "I’ve got no choice, okay?"

"Hey, it’s no big deal," said Jim, and then he started laughing again.

"You know, sometimes I think you’re so damned uptight about some things," said Blair, "and then you start acting like a seventh grader in a locker room."

"Chill out, I’m not saying anything, Chief." I think you look sexy, he thought, and then he thought, what? Where did that little thought come from? To hide his sudden disconcertion, he said, "So why’d you stop watching soaps?"

"I had afternoon classes."

"Why do soap opera actors all look alike?" Jim wondered.

"It’s Hollywood, man," said Blair. "Can you imagine really living like that?" He lowered his voice and said dramatically, "Jim, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I used to be a woman."

Without missing a beat, Jim said, "That’s okay. I’ve slept with a transvestite, so that doesn’t bother me."

It took Blair a moment to catch on that Jim might not be playing along with his fake soap opera dialogue. "Right," he said. Then, "Jim, really? That was you? Oh, man." He turned cross-legged to face Jim, the program long forgotten. "No way."

"You shocked?"

"Yes," Blair admitted. "A little. Okay, a lot."

Jim shrugged, glanced over at the TV. There, he had said it. He had told Sandburg the one thing he had swore he would never tell anybody. "I thought she was a woman, Chief. She looked like one, even smelled like one, but then my senses weren’t always as reliable as they are now." He smiled ruefully, and Blair watched him, fascinated.

"And you didn’t know until she said?"

"We had a nice dinner. She was a great conversationalist, knew the score. Wanted a nice, classy evening, but knew we’d probably never see each other again. We danced, and yeah, she was strong, but hell, I’ve never had a problem with strong women."

Again, Blair thought of Lila.

"Went back to the motel, things were getting a bit heavy-"

"You kissed her," Blair breathed. The reality of it was just now sinking in.

"Yeah," said Jim. There was a small silence.

"And?" Blair prompted.

"I don’t know if I really want to talk about this, Sandburg.

Blair said, "Too bad. I want to hear it."

"Why? Some kind of sentinel thing?"

"Hell, I have no idea, and besides, we both know I don’t write about sentinels anymore."

"No," said Jim, "we both know that you don’t officially write papers about sentinels anymore. I always figured I’d get studied ‘til the day I die." He glanced over at Blair and Blair smiled at him, studied him again like he had earlier outside. You are so dear to me, he thought. You have no idea.

Staying with Jim for the long haul. Yeah, that sounded just about right.

"Was he, she good-looking?" Blair asked.

"Beautiful, Sandburg," Jim said truthfully. "Long, dark hair…." He glanced at Blair’s automatically, and Blair caught the look.

He’s comparing our hair, Blair thought, surprised, and he felt his stomach ripple just a little bit.

"Anyway, by the time everything was pretty much go, she dropped her little bombshell on me. She was uneasy, I could tell it in her eyes. I could only imagine what kind of response she was afraid she might get. It took me by surprise, I can tell you."

Blair could not believe that Jim was telling him all of this. He wondered if Jim had suffered some kind of blow to the head of which Blair was not aware. "I’ll bet," said Blair, already feeling sympathy for the unknown woman/man. He had been small growing up, and knew the uneasiness that came from having to be careful of one’s surroundings.

"I thought about it for a moment, then I told her it didn’t matter. Hell, we were already there-"

"You had already paid for the room, right?" Blair asked, trying to help Jim with matters, and sound worldly both.

"Right. And besides," Jim added, "like I said, nobody knew us. She had given me a good evening, and I was alone. It wasn’t that different, after all."

Blair was staring at him, fascinated. "So what did you…do?" he had to ask.

Jim shot him a sidelong glance. "Sandburg," he said.

"Well?" Blair asked defensively. "I’m curious about these things, okay? I’ve never done anything like that. And here I thought I was the uninhibited one."

"You should never underestimate your elders," Jim said sagely, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. Blair still sat turned to face him.

"So?"

"So…we got to know each other. What do you want here, Sandburg? Details? It’s nothing that different than what anybody else does."

"I know, I know," said Blair, "I just wondered…."

"What? Was it odd?"

"Well, yes, I would like to know that. Jim…you always slept with women before that, right?"

"Yes, Sandburg, so don’t book me on Jerry Springer yet. It was an honest mistake." But Jim quickly looked down when he said that, because…because…well, because sometimes he hadn’t been all that sure of that. It being an honest mistake. All the soldiers knew there were men as ladies hanging out in those parts. Surely he had….

"She was a pleasant person, and we had to make a few adjustments, but we managed okay," said Jim dryly.

"Shit," said Blair. "I mean, you like…?"

Jim raised his eyebrows. "We spent a pleasant evening together, Sandburg, and that’s all I’m going to say."

Blair sat there for a moment, trying to digest all of that, and then he said, "Were you ever going to tell me that?"

"The subject never came up," said Jim in his sardonic way.

"I guess not. Apparently, I just didn’t know the right questions to ask," said Blair. "Did Carolyn know?"

"No," said Jim. It had almost come out in a night of intimate pillow talk, but thank god he had refrained.

"Who knows?" Blair asked.

Jim sighed and said, "Only you, Sandburg."

"Only me? Really?"

"Yeah, so if anybody else learns it, I’ll know who to come after," Jim said threateningly.

"Hey," said Blair, holding up his hands, "Nobody will get it from me, man. Not like they’d believe it if they did."

Jim leaned back, switched the channel on the remote, and the electricity died.

"Oh, no," said Blair. "No, no, no."

They sat there for a while, Blair depressed, Jim thinking back many years ago to the first time he had felt a man come against his body. Blair had been the second.

"At least I got a shower," Blair said.

Jim nodded, and Blair looked over at him again. Jim had kissed a man. That mouth had been against one of a man’s, and it hadn’t even been his, Blair’s, mouth. For some reason, that was a bit unsettling. Jim knew some man out there even better than he knew him. And some man knew Jim better.

"You know," Blair said, "I asked Carolyn a few things about you that one time because I thought she was the one person who knew you better than I did. I was wrong, wasn’t I?"

"What do you mean, Sandburg?" asked Jim.

"That man you met that night knows parts of you better than I do, Jim," said Blair.

"Well, up until last night, I guess," said Jim, smiling, and Blair smiled, too.

"You know what I mean."

"No, Sandburg," said Jim, having a sudden urge to pull the younger man against him in a reassuring hug, "that man doesn’t know me better than you do."

"He’s seen sides of you that I have never seen," said Blair.

"So did Carolyn, so did Lila," Jim replied. "Doesn’t mean you don’t know me better."

"You think I know you better than Carolyn does?" Blair asked.

"Yes," said Jim truthfully, "I do."

"Wow," said Blair, looking very pleased with himself.

"Carolyn never gave up her whole life for me, either," said Jim. "Not that I would have expected her to, but…." He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t have to. The look on Blair’s face said it all for both of them.

"Okay," said Blair, his pleased feelings showing all over the place. He had known Jim appreciated what he did for him, giving up the work of a lifetime; the bigger man had shown it in a million different ways. He just never talked about it much.

"I love you, Sandburg," said Jim matter-of-factly. "You’re the best friend I’ve ever had."

Blair’s smile burst into full flower, and it was magnificent. "I love you, too, man," he said. "I can’t tell you how much, and how much you mean to me. Sometimes I think you’re everything I have, Jim." And everything I want, he realized.

"That’s not true," Jim said gravely. "You had a lot going on before you ever met me, and you still do. You have a lot of friends, and a lot to offer the world that has nothing to do with me, Sandburg."

"Jim, we both know you’ve been my world for the past four years. It’s okay. I wanted it that way. I’ve wanted to study a sentinel since I was twelve, man, you know that. I think it was fate that I found one." He paused. "I used to think it was fate that I had finally found a sentinel," he admitted, amending his words a bit, "but now I think it was because I was just meant to find you."

There was a small silence as Jim turned those words over carefully in his head. "You mean…"

Blair shrugged, looked over at him with eyes wide and earnest. "Jim, if I had a choice between Jim the man and Jim the sentinel, I’d take Jim the man every time."

Now Jim was the one who was touched beyond words. The feeling ushered in by Blair’s simple statement flooded him with a maelstrom of emotion. "Thanks," he said quietly. Then he reached over and did something he could have only done with Blair; he hugged him, pulling the younger man close against him.

Blair hugged him back, squeezing him as they embraced, and then they pulled apart.

"This hasn’t been such a bad trip, has it?" Jim asked, reaching over and patting Blair on the hand.

Blair said, "No, it hasn’t," and scooted over until he was sitting shoulder to shoulder to the other man.

"Too bad the TV’s down," Jim said, as they both sort of just sat there.

"We could play cards again," said Blair.

"I thought you were ready to jump out the window at the thought of that," Jim said.

Blair wriggled down until he was lying on his back, his head next to Jim’s body. "You could tell me more about that mysterious encounter in the South Seas," he said.

"It was somewhere in Asia," said Jim, "and I don’t kiss and tell."

"Was it good? Was it like this wild night of mysterious passion?" Blair asked, and then he half-way sat up and said, "God, you did use a condom, right? Jim, I bet a place like that is crawling with AIDS, man. And other stuff." Blair looked very, very worried.

"I’m not that dumb, Chief. I used condoms before it was the fashion," Jim said dryly. "And I’m clean," he added, quietly, reaching out and gently pulling at a strand of Blair’s hair. And it was at that moment that Jim realized a great truth, one that he had probably known for quite some time, but had been ignoring for some reason or other.

He wouldn’t be averse to making love to Blair. And not just an easily-justifiable humping in the night, either.

"So you did…." asked Blair, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Did what?" Jim asked quietly.

"You…make love to her? Him, rather?" Blair asked, trying to get across his meaning.

"Yes," said Jim, leaving his hand in Blair’s curls now, playing with them absently. It was an easy reach, with Blair’s head right beside his thigh.

"How was it?" Blair asked, his whole body unsure at how to deal with all this intimacy and curiosity at once. He could feel a tingle of excitement run down along his spine.

"It was…good. Not as good as it would be with someone I cared about, though," said Jim, and there was a long pause as Blair’s stomach fluttered nervously. He could feel Jim’s big fingers lightly carding through his hair. Jim meant…with a woman he cared about, of course.

"You ever thought about doing it again?" Blair asked. "I mean, with a man?"

There was another silence. What should I tell him? Jim thought. The truth?

"Not seriously," Jim said. No, he wouldn’t tell him. Couldn’t. Blair might run screaming into the night. Then he remembered that breathy cry of "Jim" the first night the student had come against his leg. Of course, in the dream-like state in which Blair had been inhabiting, it would have meant anything. "How about you?" he asked. "You ever thought about that?"

"Well, you know, just for curiosity’s sake," said the student. He lay very still, so Jim wouldn’t move his fingers. Wondered how obvious the hard-on in his sweats was becoming.

From Jim’s vantage-point, sitting up on the bed and looking down over Sandburg’s body, it was very obvious. And it was turning the hell on out of him.

"If I did that with anybody," Blair said suddenly, "it would have to be with somebody I could trust."

And here we go, Jim thought dizzily. Could this be leading where he thought it might be leading? "Yeah, me, too," said Jim.

"So you would do it again," Blair stated.

Jim shrugged. "I don’t know. It would depend on the circumstances."

"Oh," said Blair. "So, like, he would have to dress up like a woman, something like that?"

"Not necessarily," said Jim. "I mean, this is all hypothetical anyway, right, Sandburg?"

"Oh, yeah," said Blair hastily.

"I wouldn’t want to do it because I was alone and on my own in some strange place," said Jim. "Those days are over for me."

"So…you’re saying it would be like a…relationship?"

"That would go for anybody for me now, Sandburg, man or woman."

"Are you looking for a relationship? I mean, are you looking for a woman to settle down with?" Blair asked. This was something he had wanted to know for some time now. This had a direct effect upon their future.

"Not really," said Jim. "Are you?"

"No," said Blair. "I mean, I would understand if you would want a relationship with someone, and I would be very supportive of that, but you know, for the last little bit, our relationship has been just about all I could handle, man."

Jim smiled, moved his fingers deeper until they were gently tracing patterns on Blair’s scalp. "As your mom would say, I hear that," said Jim, the fond amusement evident in his voice.

"You think you will find somebody else, Jim?" Blair asked. "Or…just somebody, I mean," he added.

"Somebody other than you?" Jim couldn’t help but ask.

"You know what I mean," said Blair, even though that was exactly what he had meant.

"You want the truth here, Sandburg?"

"Always, man," said Blair, turning his head up a bit so that he could look up at his roommate.

"The truth is, Sandburg, that I’m happy with the way things are now. Us living together, hanging out. I’m not really looking for anything else."

"Yeah, me, too," said Blair, letting out a huge sigh without even realizing it. "But I mean, you know…women. Or men, or whatever," he added hastily.

Now Jim was amused. "I’m not quite hanging out at the local gay follies," he said dryly. "That was a one time thing, Chief."

"I know, I know." Jeez, it felt so strange to be talking about this with Jim, of all people. "I’m just taking relationships here. Like marriage, kids."

"I’ve done that, Sandburg."

"But you’ve not done the kids thing, man."

"I don’t know that I’d be much of a father, Chief," Jim said, and forgetting himself, Blair sat up in protest, his face very close to Jim’s. Jim’s hand fell beside Blair’s folded up leg.

"Jim, I don’t know that I’d say that, man," said Blair, instantly in defense of his sentinel.

"C’mon, Blair, with my job? My senses? My temperament?" Jim raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"You might have a little sentinel," Blair said quietly, his eyes never leaving Jim’s face. They were sitting very close.

"Yeah, well maybe if you and I could have kids, Sandburg, I’d think differently about it," said Jim, and then he realized what he had said. "You’d have a sentinel for a kid," he added, trying to fix it. "Wouldn’t that be the major scientific coup?"

Shit, thought Blair. If Jim and I could have kids. He had never thought about that before. "I don’t know, man," he said, falling back on humor. "Having a sentinel for a kid? That would be a hell of a thing. He or she would know exactly what we’d be saying or doing. Not good, my friend."

"Maybe that’s why my mother left me," Jim mused, looking away for a second.

Quietly, Blair said, "Well, she missed getting to know a hell of a son."

"Yeah, a hell of a something," Jim muttered, but Blair reached up and put his hand on Jim’s face just for a second before he quickly let it fall. Jim could feel himself flush at the contact, hoped Sandburg couldn’t tell. "How about you?" Jim asked, trying to shore up his voice. "You’re the womanizer here, Chief."

"Jim, you know I am not," said Blair clearly, leaning his head over against the headboard. "And I don’t know that I want kids, either."

"You loved that little girl at the housing development," Jim said.

"I loved the idea of being part of a family," said Blair. "Then I got home and realized that I might just be playing family with them. And when you play at something, then one day you go do something else. Not good, man, not for them, not for me."

Jim nodded, understanding. He and Blair had one thing in common; they always seemed to end back up at the place they felt was their home, their family: with each other. "You think we’re stuck with each other, Sandburg?" Jim asked, and Blair glanced up at him quickly. For a moment, their eyes held.

"Maybe," said Blair experimentally. "It really doesn’t sound so bad, you know?"

"I know," said Jim. In fact, it sounds pretty damn good, he thought.

"It’s kind of nice to feel like I’ll always have a place to bunk," said Blair.

"Chief, I hope you know that it’s more than just a place to hang your hat," said Jim, frowning a bit. "Are you saying you plan to make the loft your home base while you travel the world?"

"Only if you come with me," Blair smiled.

"Deal," said Jim, breathing again.

"Shall we shake on that?" Blair asked.

"We making some kind of commitment here?" Jim asked, reaching out for Blair’s hand.

"I’ve already made that commitment, I think," Blair said honestly, as he took Jim’s hand.

"Me, too, Sandburg," Jim said, and for a moment, their eyes met and held. "Sorry I forget the rings," he added lightly.

"That’s okay, I’ll take the key to the truck."

"Sorry, the truck’s covered under the pre-nup," said Jim.

Blair said, "Ho-oh! I see! Gotta pre-nup, do we? I guess I better figure out what I need to list, then."

"Nah," said Jim, eyes still smiling, "what’s mine is yours, Sandburg. Might as well be, since you took control of all my stuff several years ago."

"Well, what’s mine is yours, too, then, I guess, if we’re doing that," said Sandburg mock-grumpily. And then, as they continued to grin at each other, Blair leaned over and hugged his best friend.

"Seriously," Jim said quietly against Blair’s ear, "it’s fine with me if we’re friends forever, Sandburg."

"Me, too," said Blair earnestly. "I’m not kidding here, Jim." He pulled back just a bit. "You’re my home, my family. We can make it together."

"So you’re seriously saying just us, then? A bond of brotherhood, no marriages and such?"

Blair took a deep breath. This was, when he actually thought about it, a huge step. "I’m saying that we will always be first and foremost in each other’s lives," he said. "What do you think about that?"

"I think that most woman just wouldn’t be too happy about that," Jim replied dryly.

"Can you live with that? With no women?" Blair asked bluntly.

"In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been doing that for a while," said the sentinel.

"I know, but you’ve always got some new FBI agent female friend or something," said Blair. "And that’s okay, I just want to know what we’re saying here."

"Well, we’ve lived together for four years now," said Jim. "We’ve outlasted all the others so far. But you’re the young guy with your whole life ahead of you, Chief. It wouldn’t be quite fair for me to ask you to give all that up to take care of me for the rest of my life."

"Jim," said Blair, "in case you have forgotten, that’s exactly what I did with my dissertation, man. Besides, it’s too late now, we’ve already shook on it."

There was a silence, then Jim said, "What about sex, Sandburg? Don’t tell me you’ve decided to join the boys at St. Sebastian’s."

Another silence. Blair bit at his lower lip, thought seriously about this. "I don’t know," he said. "I don’t know what to think about that. Sometimes you do run into women who just want to have a good time, and I used to think that was okay. I’m not sure I do anymore."

"Really," Jim mused, leaning back against the headboard and crossing his arms in front of him.

"Yeah, funny, huh? I used to be all for that sort of thing, but I guess lately I’ve been thinking, why do that, huh? I mean, aside from the obvious. When you’re sixteen, yeah, it’s all new and exciting, but I think that when one matures a bit, you realize it’s the connection you’re looking for, not the orgasm."

Jim wondered what Blair had been looking for last night when he came against Jim’s leg. Orgasm? Or connection?

"Yeah, that’s always been my take on things," Jim said fondly. He’s growing up, he thought. Sandburg is a man now. Once Jim had thought he would miss the younger, bouncy part of Blair. Now he realized that the bounce had just turned into something deeper, better.

"So, no, I’m not interested in just using someone for sex, Jim. I like to think I’ve got it together a little better than that now."

"You know what, Sandburg?" Jim couldn’t help but say. "I think you turned out all right, partner."

"You’re just saying that because you agree with me," Blair said dryly, but Jim could tell the younger man was pleased. "So what about you?" Blair asked. "About sex and all."

Jim shrugged, thought about it. "I’m not denying I like that part of a relationship," he said. "But I think sometimes it’s easy to use sex as a way to get to know someone better rather than as a shared result of already caring about that person."

"Right," said Blair, thinking about this. "You’re saying you should know and care about someone first, then share that with them."

"Ideally, yes," said Jim. "But do as I say here, not as I’ve done." His tone was deeply ironic.

"Well, we’ve both made our share of mistakes," Blair smiled. "But you still haven’t said what you’ll do about that. If we do this "just us" thing."

Jim hesitated. Actually, there was another option here, but it was obvious that Blair wasn’t even considering it. Well, why not just say it, right? Blair could usually be counted on to discuss things rationally. "So you’re not thinking…of us sleeping together, then," said Jim, in the most matter-of-fact tone he could manage.

"Oh!" said Blair, eyes widening. "Oh! You were thinking that kind of thing-"

"No," said Jim hastily, "I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking that at all, Sandburg. When we talked about the bond of brotherhood thing, that was strictly how I mean it. Purely platonic, like we are now." Well, aside from the occasional leg humping thing. "I just wanted to get things out on the table here."

"Okay, okay," said Blair, nodding quickly. He studied a place on the bedspread, tried to look scholarly and scientific. "Okay."

Jim sat and waited, tried not to notice the rise in both he and Blair’s body temperatures.

"I don’t know what to say here," said Blair, with a small half-laugh. "But you’re right, I mean, we’re two grown men and we need to be honest here, right?"

"Yeah," said Jim.

"Well…I don’t know," said the usually babbling student. "What do you think? I mean…are you saying we should consider that as an option? I mean…"

Jim shrugged. "I just thought we should see where we stand on the matter," he said, realizing as he said that that he hardly ever said things for that reason. Blair was sure to notice this. "Better than later miscommunication," he added, trying to make some sense out of his words.

"Right," said Blair, nodding solemnly. Where to go here? What to say? He couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation. "So…are you saying we would…do this for purposes of sexual relief?" he asked, trying to get his bearings.

Jim hesitated. "Well, I thought we had…that we both feel that’s not a good reason to get intimate with someone, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Blair, "with women. Because we wouldn’t be having a relationship with them to back it up," he added. "But you and I would be living together…"

"Chief, just because I’m living with someone doesn’t mean I would use them just for sex," said Jim pointedly.

"I know, I know. Me, either," Blair said hastily. He cast a quick glance over at his roommate. "So are you saying we should maybe consider, or talk about," he changed quickly, "having a deeper kind of relationship with each other?"

"Sandburg," Jim said honestly, "this is the deepest relationship I’ve ever had. I don’t think that’s a big secret here."

"Me, too," said Blair. "No doubt about it. The only thing that we don’t have is sex, man." And he raised frank eyes to meet Jim’s. When they did, Blair’s stomach jerked tightly. That hard-on never really had gone away.

Sex with Jim, he thought. It wasn’t like he had never thought about it, hell, he was human, right? At first it had come from curiosity over what a sentinel would be like in bed. Later, when Blair had thought about it, he concentrated less on that and more on other more ordinary things. Like Jim with his head between his legs, sucking him dry. At that thought, he twitched in that area, and hoped to god Jim didn’t notice. Said Jim’s name as he humped his leg, huh? Blair had not been too surprised when he heard that. Living in a committed relationship with Jim and all that went with it? Hell yeah. Blair could feel his whole body thrum out a response just at the thought.

With no women? Really, Blair?

Really. It wasn’t the first time Blair had thought about that, either.

"What do you think about that?" Jim was asking now.

"About…."

"About us having sex." Jim’s face was deliberately blank, and so was his tone. "Is that something even worth discussing?"

"Well, we’ve already humped each other’s legs," Blair said, laughing nervously.

"This is a serious thing, Sandburg. We’re making decisions there that will affect the rest of our lives. Is that more than you’d like to handle at this point?" Jim chose his words carefully.

"No, no, I think I’m ready for it," said Blair. "I’ve already shook on the forever part, man."

"Because you’re young, and I’d understand it if this was too much," Jim said honestly. He hoped Blair wouldn’t take this way out that Jim felt honor-bound to offer him.

"It’s not like you’ve got one toe in the grave, you know," said Blair dryly.

"So you’re sure?" Jim asked.

"Yeah," said Blair, and his tone was serious.

"What about the other thing? Should we just forget it? Try to live like monks? Because Blair, I don’t want us to end up as table legs because we’ve got no one else. We both deserve better than that, especially you."

Blair looked at him in wonder. "Thanks," he said, touched. "That was a nice thing to say, Jim. But you deserve as much as I do, no doubt there."

"Well, how about we say that we both deserve a lot, huh?" Jim asked, smiling.

"Deal," said Blair. They looked at each other for a long, pleasant moment. This is nice, they both thought. Really, really nice. "So," said Blair. "About the sex thing. You’re saying then, that sex should be right out unless we agree to turn our relationship into something…on a different level, right? Make it real, like a real couple."

"A couple of what is the question," Jim smiled.

"Amen to that, partner."

"Yeah," said Jim, after a moment. "That’s what I mean."

"Okay," said Blair, taking a deep breath. "I guess what I want to ask here is how do you feel about that?" He looked over at Jim, steeled himself for the reply.

"About us being together in that way?" All systems go, thought Jim, suddenly very, very flushed. He was painfully aware of just how fetching the younger man across from him really was. Inside and out. "Well," he said off-handedly, "I’ve already told you my past history, Chief. I guess you can figure out from that that it’s not exactly like I have a problem with that sort of thing."

"This is so wild," Blair couldn’t help but say. "You know, when I first met you, if someone would have told me how open you were to things like that, I probably wouldn’t have believed them."

"Way to be non-judgmental there, Chief," Jim said dryly.

"I know, I know, a book by its cover and all that," said Blair. "But I can’t tell you how cool I think this all is."

"Sandburg, I don’t want to get into a relationship with you just because you think it’s cool," said Jim, half-grumpily.

"Oh no," said Blair quickly. "I’m not that stupid, Jim. I’m not so naïve that I don’t have an idea of how that could be. Still lots of prejudice out there against this kind of thing, man. What about at the station?"

Jim shrugged. "Don’t ask, don’t tell. None of their business what we do together in our off-time, Chief."

"What about Simon?"

"He doesn’t tell me who he sleeps with, I don’t tell him, either."

"What about functions that require dates?"

"Oh, like the officers’ thing where you sprung that little surprise on me? We’ll go together. Nobody questions partners who show up like that. Besides, what could be said about us that probably already hasn’t been?"

"That’s probably true," Blair agreed.

"But don’t expect me to kiss you at the copy machine or anything," Jim growled, half-kidding.

"Does that mean no leg humping at your desk?" Blair couldn’t help but ask.

Jim shot him a dry eye as their teasing words sunk into each other’s brains. It’s not like you don’t already have your hands all over me at work anyway, thought Blair inanely. Jim kissing him at the copy machine. Jim kissing him, period. He could feel his face flush. "There is that one interrogation room," Jim said thoughtfully, straight-faced. We’re going to do this, he thought. We are going to do this.

"Well, no handcuffs," said Blair, trying to kid along as well. "I’ve had my fill of those."

"Hey," said Jim, a wall of emotion and protectiveness rising within him, "no more of that stuff. They’ll have to answer to your Blessed Protector, right?"

"Jim, that guy did answer to you," Blair said dryly. That time in his life had been a pretty horrible one. Thank god Jim had been in his life then, too.

Jim lifted one hand up and touched Blair’s face. His big thumb slid over a slanted cheekbone. Then he dropped it, remembering their current discussion.

"It’s okay," said Blair quietly. Everything was soft now; his voice, the gray light. Well, not everything, Blair remembered dryly. "You touch me a lot, Jim. I don’t mind that."

Jim sighed, leaned back again. "I wasn’t trying to make up your mind for you there, Sandburg."

"You know, Jim, you’ve not really said what you want," Blair reminded him, scooting a bit closer. He had a strong urge to touch Jim somehow. "You’ve said that kind of thing doesn’t bother you, but you’ve never said how you’d feel if I were involved in the equation."

"You’ve not said whether that kind of thing bothers you at all," Jim pointed out.

"Okay," said Blair, half-bouncing on the bed for a second to move even closer. "It doesn’t. I mean, it never has, not in principle, and with you, Jim, no it wouldn’t bother me." His heartbeat quickened as those words hung in the air.

Jim looked at him, mouth open a bit, as he tried to correctly interpret those words. "So what are you saying here, Sandburg?"

More pulse racing. "I’m saying that whatever is fine with me," Blair said.

"Just whatever? Gee, that’s flattering," said the other man with a sardonic laugh. "So you can take me or leave me, Sandburg?" Jim’s tone was dry.

"No, I didn’t say that." Blair could feel himself flush. "What do you want, Jim? Do you want…this?"

"Yes," Jim said simply. "I could do this, Sandburg. But I would never want to push you into something that wasn’t right for you."

Yes. Blair felt a wave of heat rush across his body. Jim did want this. No, he said he could do this. But maybe that was just typical Ellison understatement. "You could do it, or you want it?" Blair asked.

Okay, Ellison, time to go for broke. "I want it," he said, and this time there was no mistaking the look in his cool blue eyes.

"Well," said Blair, his heart thumping as he swallowed noisily.

"Are you afraid, Sandburg?" Jim asked, a smile playing about his lips. For a moment, he did look just like that oh-so famous jaguar that had been such a big part of their lives.

"No," said Blair, and now he was giving a smile, too, a rather silly one.

"I’m just kidding," said Jim softly, reaching out and playing with the fingers of Blair’s left hand. "There’s no rush here, Sandburg."

"Well, I know," said Blair, "but we are in a motel room, and we are sort of snowed in…."

"We could always play cards instead," Jim said solicitously.

"Huh," said Blair, his face flushed. Jim’s hand was stroking his fingers into absolute submission. "Strip poker, maybe," he added rather shyly.

"Huh-uh," said Jim, suddenly leaning back against the headboard and regarding Blair teasingly. "I’m a much better card player than you, Sandburg. I’d have you stripped naked in no time."

"In your dreams," Blair said, meaning Jim’s card playing prowess, and the sentinel’s smile widened delightedly.

"Exactly," he said, and he raised up a long arm and extended his hand to Blair. "Come here," he said.

Feeling the heat rush through him, Blair obeyed, stopped himself from saying automatically, "No, you come here." He got up on his knees and made his way over toward the sentinel, who patted the lap of his outstretched legs.

"On your lap?" Blair gave a half-laugh and hesitated.

"I can sit in yours if you prefer," said Jim, pulling Blair to him. The student straddled him, knees on either side of Jim’s thighs.

"Hi," said Blair rather self-consciously.

"You want to know what I did in that hotel room in Asia?" Jim asked.

"I don’t know," said Blair. "I’m not sure how I feel about discussing past lovers in bed."

Putting big hands on Blair’s shoulders, Jim leaned up and whispered in his ear. "I didn’t do anything," he said. "That was just a story I made up to see how you felt about things like that."

"You!" Blair pulled away, stared down at the laughing sentinel. "You sneaky…. Seriously?"

"No, I did go out with her," Jim admitted. "We did kiss. But all we did was, well, he gave me oral sex. She," he corrected. "I wanted to return the favor, but she said that was okay, that I had been a gentlemen, and that was all she wanted. I held her, and…there was some table-legging. That’s all, so there you are. One of my deepest, darkest secrets."

"One of them," Blair said, putting his hands up on Jim’s shoulders. He felt awkward as hell. "I want to hear all of them, buddy."

"Well," said Jim, his blue eyes half-lidded, "I’d like to make love to you, Chief. How’s that for a deep dark secret?"

"That’s okay," Blair said, looking shy again.

"I’d never hurt you," Jim said suddenly. "And we would never do anything you wouldn’t want to." Their faces, bodies were so close.

"Hey, I’m game, man," said Blair, trying to sound bold. "I figure we got the rest of our lives to try everything, out right?" He was trying hard to keep his swollen crotch off of Jim’s lap.

"Sounds good to me," said Jim. He put his hands around Blair’s backside and pulled him a bit closer. Despite Blair’s thoughtful efforts, their hard groins rubbed each other against the denim of their jeans.

"Whoa," said Blair, laughing self-consciously.

"Feels good, huh?" Jim said, looking up at the student.

"Yeah," Blair admitted.

Then Jim said, "How do you feel about kissing?"

Blair immediately looked down at Jim’s mouth. His hands were around Jim’s neck now; his fingers were tentatively exploring the back of Jim’s short hair. "I’d like it," he said.

"Come here," said Jim, and obediently, Blair lowered his head and set his lips on Jim’s. "Uhm," said Jim, pressing against Blair’s full mouth.

Now I know I’m a good kisser, Blair thought. I can at least do something with this, and he put his best effort into it, opening his lips and pressing against Jim’s body. Yeah, this was unbelievable. He was kissing Jim! Jeez, it was so wild that his head started to spin.

Jim wrapped his arms around his partner’s back, then moved a hand to entangle in Blair’s thick dark curls. He pressed Blair’s head closer to his, a firm tongue looking for entrance to the lushness of the student’s mouth.

"God, you taste good, Sandburg," he said, nearly getting lost in the sense.

"Do I taste like you thought I would?" Blair breathed, always the scientist.

Jim said, "You taste like you smell, Blair, and that’s great, too." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a very deep breath. "Oh, yeah, I love the way you smell."

"I love the way you taste and smell, too, Jim," Blair admitted, and then they were kissing again, exploring each other’s mouths with thorough tongues and lips. "I never thought we’d do this, never," Blair said breathlessly between kisses.

"Thank god you were wrong," said Jim fervently, holding Blair in his strong arms. Oh yeah, this was it, this was right, this was the final answer on that long pop quiz called life.

And then there was a fierce knocking on the door.

"Shit!" said Blair, jumping in alarm. His and Jim’s eyes met, Jim frowning.

"It’s Ed," said that man from the other side of the door.

Blair quickly got up, tried to yank his shirt down over his very distended sweatpants. Jim jerked a thumb toward the bathroom, and Blair high-tailed it in there.

"Yes?" said Jim coolly, opening the door. He hoped he didn’t look too disheveled. Blair had looked swollen and rumpled, like he had spent the whole of the night before making out in the back of some car. He looked damned delicious.

"Just wanted to let you know that the state patrol said they might open part of the road for an hour or two before dark."

Jim considered this. Inside the bathroom, Blair waited, breathless.

"That’s okay," said Jim, with a smile. "I don’t think we’ll try it today. Thanks for letting us know, though."

After the door shut, Blair came out, staring at Jim in surprise. "I thought you were dying to get out of here," he said.

"You must be joking," said Jim, pulling the student into his arms. "Have you looked in the mirror lately, Sandburg?"

Sandburg’s swollen mouth spread into a very happy grin. "Should I?" he asked.

"Not unless you’re naked and I’m standing there behind you," said Jim, leaning over and putting his mouth on the soft flesh of Blair’s neck.

"Yeah," said Blair, feeling his knees start to buckle.

"Back to bed for you," Jim said, grabbing Blair under the ass and propelling him over. Blair was giggling as he hit the mattress.

"Man, you’re so…." he said.

"What?" asked Jim, crawling over on top of him. "Horny? Silly? In love?" and at the latter words, Blair blinked and put his hands on Jim’s arms.

"In love?" he asked. "Are you? Really?"

Jim slowly sat down on top of Blair’s thighs. "Is it a bad thing if I am?" he asked quietly.

"Not if you’re in love with me," said Blair, squeezing Jim’s biceps softly. He felt his heart rapidly begin to swell.

"Well, I don’t see anybody else here," said Jim, reaching down and pushing a strand of hair out of Blair’s face.

"Really? You love me?" Blair’s face was amazing to watch. He looked vulnerable and happy all at the same time.

"Damn stuck on you, but don’t expect me to tell you again," Jim said sternly. "I wouldn’t want you getting ideas, like you’ve got me wrapped around your finger or something," and he leaned down and blew a raspberry on Blair’s neck. Then he straightened up, got serious. "I love you, Chief. Didn’t you know?"

"It’s always nice to hear," said Blair, deftly dodging the question. "I love you, too," he said.

"Convenient," Jim remarked. "You, me, love, and a bed. What do you think about that, Mr. Sandburg?"

"That we’re wearing too many clothes?" Blair supplied helpfully.

Jim’s icy eyes immediately began to glow. "Good answer. No wonder you got to be the teacher," and he leaned down and began nipping at the neck of Blair’s shirt. "You’re with me on this, right?" he had to ask one last time. "Because we can wait. Our first time doesn’t have to be in some seedy roadside motel."

"While we’re snowed in? Hell, Jim, I thought you were the romantic one here," said Blair, giving him a gentle swipe on the chest. "Take me, lover boy. I’m all yours," but Jim could feel the pounding of Blair’s heartbeat as he moved him a little farther up the bed.

"We don’t have to-" Jim began, but Blair stopped him with his next sentence.

"What is your fantasy, Jim?" he asked. "What have you pictured our first time to be like? If you've thought about it at all, that is?"

Jim lay down on the bed on his side, looked at Blair where the latter lay flat on his back. "The loft, I guess," he said. "Me coming down to your room at night, getting into your bed. Or watching you naked. Or…you showing up one night in the dark up in the loft. Saying nothing, just wearing that tank top and those boxers that you wear sometimes."

"Sorry my boxers are all in the wash," said Blair.

"Don’t be," said Jim, reaching a hand down and touching the side of Blair’s hip. He could feel Blair’s bare skin through the thin cotton of the sweatpants. "Believe me, I’m not."

Blair reached up, traced a finger across the planes of Jim’s face. "What else?" he asked, feeling Jim’s touch burning on his leg. "What then?" He was truly hot and fascinated by Jim’s recounting, but he also wanted to know…just what was Jim expecting here? Fun and games, or the Fully Monty, so to speak? Blair had never done anything like that, and frankly, he was a bit apprehensive.

"I don’t know. Undressing you." Jim reached out and ran a slow finger along the top of Blair’s sweatpants. The skin of Blair’s stomach was smooth, warm.

"Yeah," whispered Blair. "I’d like that, Jim."

"Or maybe you’d undress for me," said Jim, leaning over and bestowing a kiss on the hard nipple visible through Blair’s thin shirt. "Or maybe you’d just show up there naked, and in the dark, I could see how turned on you were, your body all hairy and hard, your cock jutting out from that hair…." Jim gave Blair’s heaving chest another kiss.

Blair swallowed. His cock was throbbing against his pants. Jeez, what a time for Jim to turn into a talker. Who would have thought? God, it was great. "I don’t know what you want here, Jim," he admitted, rolling over and putting his arms around his new lover. His breath was hot on Jim’s face. "I’ve never done anything like this before. I hope you’re not disappointed."

"Sandburg, I could never, ever be disappointed," said Jim, utterly truthful. "You’re the hottest, the sexiest, the absolute…." He leaned down and kissed Blair hard on the mouth, pushing his mouth open and dueling with Blair’s own ready tongue. "You could read "War and Peace" to me right now and I’d be happy."

Blair laughed against that mouth and said, "How about "Tale of Two Cities"? I know how that starts out."

"How about the tale of Blair Sandburg and the man named Jim who loves him?" Jim could not believe how great he felt at that moment. He was soaring, brilliant, ready for anything. Certainly ready for Blair. "What can I do for you, baby?" he whispered, running his hand down across Blair’s belly. "Anything you want, you just tell me."

Blair thought about being glib to hide his nervousness, but Jim’s mouth quickly made him forget that idea. "Yeah," he said, as Jim carefully rolled over on top of him. "Yeah."

Jim wrapped his arms underneath Blair, gathered him to him tenderly. Then he started making his way down across Blair’s tee-shirt, kissing the folds of the material gently. At Blair’s belly, he said, "Can this come off, Sandburg?"

Blair nodded, and Jim pushed the shirt up out of the way, exposing the smooth, hairy skin. Leaning down again, Jim started kissing his way across the flat abdomen to a luscious little nipple. "Tell me what you like," he said, fastening onto the nub with his lips.

"I like," Blair gasped, his heart pounding wildly. He hung onto Jim’s back, his arms.

"I like, too," said Jim, between nips. Then he started sucking, his tongue pressing against Blair’s nipple until the younger man was pushing against him.

"Yeah, that feels soooo good," said Blair, panting.

Jim reached down and pulled the rest of the shirt all the way off.

"Yours, too," said Blair, stroking Jim’s arm.

Jim straightened up gladly and jerked off his shirt. Man, what a chest. Blair nearly felt faint just looking at it. He could never, ever compare to that.

"Now," growled Jim, moving back down. "I can get to you better, Sandburg."

I am being made love to, Blair realized. Never have I just been put down on the bed and explored and pleasured like this. He was definitely going to have to return the favor. "Explore me everywhere," whispered Blair, and Jim started working his mouth down to Blair’s waist. Sucking in his stomach from the sensation, Blair waited, holding his breath.

"You ready, Sandburg?" Jim asked, a big hand on the side of Blair’s hip, and Blair said, "Yes."

Gently, kissing Blair’s belly the whole time, Jim pulled the sweatpants over the swollen head of Blair’s cock. Immediately, the smell of musk rose up to saturate him. Deeply, he breathed it in.

Realizing what Jim was doing, Blair froze just for a moment. Hoped everything was okay.

"Now this is what makes being a sentinel worthwhile," said Jim, and Blair smiled, dropping his head back weakly on the pillow. There was a long moment, and Blair looked back up to see Jim just staring at his cock.

"Everything okay?" he asked, stroking the top of Jim’s head.

"Just admiring," said Jim, and then he reached down and touched the engorged head of Blair’s penis.

Blair sucked in his breath, made a noise.

"Like that, Chief?" Jim asked, smiling to himself. God, he did. Blair was everything he had imagined and more.

"Yeah," Blair whispered.

"Then you’re really going to like this," said Jim, and he leaned down and ran his knowing tongue up the length of Blair’s shaft.

"Ah!" Blair moaned, jerking.

Still smiling, Jim set to work, nuzzling his head into Blair’s wonderfully warm nether regions. Taking each flushed testicle into his mouth, he soaked them gently before stroking the inside of Blair’s hairy thighs with his fingers.

"Yeah," said Blair, mouth open and breathing heavily.

Jim moved up Blair’s cock, opening his mouth to slide along the velvet skin until he got to the ridged head. Then he licked his tongue across the wet slit at the top. Blair jerked, but Jim didn’t let him go. Following his movement, holding the student’s hips down with a firm hand, Jim slid his mouth over Blair’s sensitive head and began to play over it with his tongue.

"Jim," moaned Blair, trying to move. "Yes."

Grasping the hard shaft in his hand, Jim began an unbearable combination of movement and wetness. Groaning aloud, Blair began panting for breath.

"Oh yeah," said Jim, "oh yeah, Chief. I’m going to do you so good."

"Jim," whimpered Blair, but it was all he could manage as he ground his hips into Jim’s face and the mattress, his rear muscles clenching and unclenching in his desperate need to reach completion. "Oh, Jim, I’m coming," Blair said, his body absolutely drenched in over-stimulation, "I’m coming, I’m coming," and then he did, crying out as he arched and shot into Jim’s sucking, welcoming mouth.

"Oh my god," said Blair, flopping back onto the pillow and just lying there. He couldn’t move, couldn’t talk. And he couldn’t wait until he could do it again.

Extremely triumphant, the rock-hard sentinel moved up against Blair’s body, cuddling next to him. Had there ever been anybody as sexy as Blair? As hot, as absolutely wanton-looking? Jim didn’t know if he could contain himself. The snow was probably melting outside just from his body heat.

Perhaps that was why the roads were clearing, he thought dryly.

Blair opened his eyes, found Jim’s. "My god," he said, reaching up for Jim’s hand. Jim took his firmly, clasping their fingers and sweaty palms together. "Fuck me," said Blair.

Shocked, Jim felt the heat slash across him. "Sandburg," he stumbled.

"Do it," said Blair firmly. "I mean it. I want you, Jim. Right now."

"I’ve heard that can be painful," said Jim, his whole body pulsing.

"Then do it while I’ve got enough endorphins rushing around my body to help me out," said Blair. "Do you have stuff? How about that lotion in your bag? And I’ve got a lubricated condom in my backpack."

"Sandburg, I’m not even going to ask," said Jim, numbly scrambling off the bed and doing as he was told.

"Hey, I knew it would come in handy someday," said Blair. "I just didn’t think I’d get this lucky. In the outside pocket," he said, directing his sentinel, and soon Jim was back, lotion and condom in hand.

"On my stomach, right?" Blair asked, obediently turning over.

"I…don’t know," said Jim. "I’ve never actually…." He stopped talking at the sight of Blair’s round butt spread out in front of him. Then Blair was kicking off his sweatpants, and that was just about too much for the sentinel. Wow, he thought, feeling like a world-class pervert for watching so intently. Then Blair spread his legs and Jim thought, okay, swooning might be an option here, too, Ellison.

"You okay?" Blair asked anxiously, peering over his bare back.

"Never better," said Jim, applying himself to the task at hand.

"Wait," said Blair, turning back over again. He reached out for Jim’s belt buckle. "I want to help with this, man," and Jim lifted his arms to let the student help unfasten the jeans. "Stand up," Blair commanded, and Jim did so, items still in hand, as Blair gently moved the jeans down off Jim’s well-muscled body. Then Blair said, "These off, too, buddy," and carefully removed the boxers. "Wow," the student breathed, as Jim stood there naked before him. Blair leaned back down on the bed, rubbed a hand across his own belly. "Take me, James," he said, and obediently, Jim crawled back on the bed on top of him. Turning over, Blair resumed his other pose.

Hands shaking, Jim opened the lotion and slicked a finger up good. Checked the nail to make sure it was short enough. He would gladly have bitten it down if it weren’t. Carefully, he moved over and spread Blair’s round cheeks apart. Heard the breath that Blair exhaled. Despite his bravado, Blair was nervous, and Jim knew it. "I’m not going to hurt you, Chief," Jim said. "If it hurts, we stop."

"I’ll be fine," said Blair boldly. He spread his legs a bit more, wiggled. Jim swallowed, continued his explorations. Yeah, there it was, tiny and throbbing. Jim felt his own cock swell between his legs.

"Blair, you’re so tight," Jim said, worried.

"Open me up," said Blair. "Do it. I want you to, man. I want to be connected to you."

"You could do this to me," said Jim, instantly agreeable to that idea.

"Really?" Blair asked, pleased.

"Sure," said Jim. Blair inside of him? Oh, yeah. He got a brief picture of Blair riding him like that and nearly threw himself down on his belly to go first. That’s for round two, he promised himself. He hoped it snowed for the next two weeks. "You okay?" he whispered, as he pushed his lubricated finger past Blair’s tight muscle. The younger man flinched, made a sound, but didn’t protest.

"I’m okay," Blair returned in a strained voice. "Just let it…it’s going to ease up here in a moment," he said.

"You know anything about this?" Jim asked, curious, as he waited.

"Very little," said Blair.

The muscle was easing around Jim’s finger now, and pulling Blair’s folds apart, Jim leaned down and started kissing him there.

"Whoa!" said Blair. "You don’t, like, have to do that, man."

"You don’t want me to?" Jim asked, immediately stopping.

"No, hell, no, I do. It feels great, it’s just…." His voice trailed off.

"Baby, it’s just another part of you," said Jim, chuckling. "A great part, believe me."

"Well, okay," said Blair, thinking of what it would be like to do that to Jim’s ass. His cock started throbbing at the thought. Turn-about’s fair-play, Ellison, he thought happily.

Jim worked with his finger again, and soon Blair was pushing backward, definitely getting into the mood. "Go ahead," he said. "Try."

"Remember, we stop if anything hurts. We don’t have to try it again tonight."

"Jim! Go ahead," said Blair, and shaking, Jim tore open the condom and put it over his hard cock. Beneath him, Blair moved up a bit more onto his hands and knees. Swallowing hard, Jim slid up behind him and pressed himself into Blair’s lubricated folds.

"Augh," said Blair, hanging down his head. Jim immediately stopped.

"No, don’t stop!" cried Blair. "Jim, please. I’ll tell you if you need to stop, okay?" He spread his legs wider, and Jim pressed onward. He knew Blair was hurting, he could tell. There was no way he was going to turn this night of passion into-

Then the head of his cock slid into Blair’s tight tunnel.

"God!" said Blair, sucking in his breath. Jim stopped at once. "Just give me a minute," Blair said. "Just a minute." His respiration was up, his rectum burning. It will even out, he told himself, and in a moment it did. Jim waited, breathless, until he got the go-ahead.

"More," managed Blair, and Jim moved just a little bit. God, it felt so good. Sandburg had to feel good, too. He would make sure Sandburg felt great.

"More," Blair said again, pushing back a bit, and Jim slid farther in. Blair shifted his arms, tried to move his head so it wouldn’t bang against the headboard. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," said Jim, and then Blair was moving again, and again, and Jim was groaning, clutching at his lover’s body beneath them, trying not to die underneath all this new sensation.

"Can you feel it?" Blair asked, and Jim thought that was probably the most useless question he had ever been asked in his life. Except that he could feel it, but not just like Blair was meaning. Jim could feel it all the way into his soul.

"I feel you," he gasped. "I feel you, Blair," he added, groaning and pushing up against Blair’s firm cheeks. "I feel you," and then he was coming, gasping, twisted harder than he ever remembered being twisted before, absolutely wrung with pleasure, the climax building with the sharp sting of a bite and then flooding like a river of warmth. It was…incredible. Still moaning, still crying out, he nearly collapsed on Blair, whose whole backside was trembling like a leaf.

"Come here, Chief," he managed, pulling Blair down with him, and still connected, they lay there in a very awkward, but wonderful position. "Let me pull out," he said, but Blair said, "No," and reached back to stop him with a hand.

"Just for a moment," Blair said, so Jim stopped, let them stay connected for just a bit longer.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, rubbing Blair’s arm, anything he could reach.

"Okay," said Blair, indicating Jim could move now, so Jim did, gently pulling out and throwing away the condom. There was no blood on it, and Jim was very, very glad. Carefully, he turned Blair over and pulled him into his arms.

"Are you sore?" he asked, gently massaging Blair’s lower back.

"Well, I can feel it," said Blair, grimacing as he moved his legs together, but he wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck happily. "Man, that was…intense. I thought I had made love before, Jim. I mean, I didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

"I know, Sandburg," said Jim, moving a hand up to smooth the rumpled curls from Blair’s face. "I know."

They dozed in the gloom of the late afternoon, then at one point Jim got up and put on his clothes to go outside for food. Looking back at his lover, he smiled and pulled the cover up over Blair’s sleeping form. When he returned, however, Blair was awake, watching him almost shyly.

"Hi," Blair said.

"Hi yourself," said Jim affably. He put together some food for them, then Blair sat up and sat on the edge of the bed, naked, a sheet covering his groin. He was shivering, and Jim said, "Here, put some clothes on. Not that I want you to," he added, and Blair grinned happily as he pulled on his sweats.

"Hhm," said Blair, biting into a turkey sandwich. "I’m starved."

"Me, too," said Ellison, shooting a half-lidded look over his way.

"I guess," said Blair after another grin, "that since we sort of made, you know, our commitment this afternoon, then this is our honeymoon, you figure?"

Jim nodded as he chewed. "Yeah, I think so. Sorry I couldn’t take you some place better, Sandburg," he said, glancing around at the rather dingy room.

"Hey, I’m having a great time, man," Blair said enthusiastically. "You?"

"If I had any better of a time, I’d be in the hospital," Jim said truthfully.

Blair smiled happily, shook his head.

"What?" asked Jim.

"Nothing. Just having a good time. Just thinking how wild it is to see you like this."

"Like what? Gulping down a turkey sandwich?"

"No. You know. Wild, naked, horny." Blair raised his eyebrows insinuatingly.

Now Jim grinned. "Yeah, well, it’s our secret, okay?"

"Hey, I’m discreet. Even though I’d give a lot to be able to live in a world where I could tell everyone just what an incredible man you are." And Blair’s voice was earnest and matter-of-fact.

Jim reached over and patted Blair’s arm. "I’ll settle for you telling me how incredible I am."

"I bet you will."

They finished eating, and then Jim said, "What do you want to do now, Sandburg?"

"Uh, I bet I could think of a few things," and he held his hand out to his sentinel. Quickly cleaning up the last of the food, Jim turned and took it, pulling Blair back down on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Jim asked, lightly patting Blair’s butt.

"Well, I can feel it," Blair admitted.

"You okay?" Jim cradled Blair in his arms, smoothed his hair back from his face.

"Never better."

Jim leaned down, kissed Blair’s warm mouth. He tasted like dinner.

"Want me to brush my teeth?" Blair asked, thinking the same thing.

"Not if it involves you getting out of this bed," said the besotted sentinel, and he pulled Blair again, deepening the kiss. Blair was intoxicating. Even in the chill of the room, his mouth was hot, sweet.

They kissed for a very long time, bodies fitting together perfectly, then Blair said, "My turn," and pushed Jim back on the bed.

Pleased, the bigger man complied willingly, lying flat on his back as the younger man started mapping out his new territory. Starting with kisses on the smooth column of Jim’s strong throat, Blair then unbuttoned Jim’s shirt and moved an exploring hand across that firm chest.

"You look like a god," said Blair, moving back for a moment just to admire the contours.

"Not what you’re used to," said Jim, for the first time a little nervous. He moved a little to help Blair completely get rid of the shirt.

"Yeah, I’m not usually with gods," said Blair, agreeing, and Jim smiled as the student moved back down to his chest. "What do you like, Jim?" he asked, pinching a hardening nipple with his thumb and forefinger. He rolled it gently, hoped it was making the desire streak through Jim like it was him.

"Anything you do, I like," breathed Jim, moving a hand up Blair’s cotton-covered back. "Can we take this off, too?"

Complying, Blair pulled his tee-shirt over his head. The room was chilly, but he would suffer through it for now.

"You cold?" asked Jim, rubbing Blair’s back with both hands.

"We’ll be warm in a minute," Blair said, leaning back down. "Pants off," he said, and Jim obeyed, struggling out of both the jeans and the boxers on more time. Blair threw them onto the nearby chair, and then looked down at the newly unveiled sight. This was in me, he thought, gently touched Jim’s half-hard penis.

"Strange new territory, huh?" Jim asked, watching him.

"Wonderful territory," Blair said, leaning over to kiss Jim on the mouth. "Beautiful, man." Then he resumed his trail of kisses, barely missing an inch of Jim’s chest and belly before finally getting back to the prize nestled in the brown thatch between Jim’s legs. "May I?" he asked.

"Please do," said Jim, gesturing, and Blair complied, bestowing gentle kisses all around Jim’s groin. He was no sentinel, but he could smell sex all over the man, and it just excited him even more.

Spreading Jim’s legs a bit, Blair moved down between his legs, mouthing the smooth thighs, the waiting sacs. Jim looked so vulnerable like this, all spread out and open. It touched Blair that the other man was trusting him so. "You like this?" he asked, moving his tongue up Jim’s hard cock.

"Uhm," said Jim, eyes half-closed. One hand was carding through Blair’s curls.

This isn’t that strange, Blair thought, studying Jim’s penis with interest. He had never done this sort of thing. He was excited as hell, filled with an almost unbearable urge to taste every inch of Jim. So he started on that task, licking every bit of velvet skin, moving an exploring tongue around the defined ridge.

"Yeah," whispered Jim. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Sandburg had his head between his legs. It was…more than he had ever, ever hoped for. He wondered what in the hell he had done to deserve it, and was sure that he had never done anything that good.

Blair went into the second stages of his frontal attack, sliding the bigger man’s head into his mouth with a slow, lingering caress.

Jim was breathing heavy now, clenching his rear, wanting to push right into his roommate’s mouth. Blair kept on, moving a hand up to help, stroking until he was settled into a regular rhythm.

"Come for me, baby," he coaxed. "I want you in my mouth, Jim."

Jim groaned, started bucking, and Blair quickly got into that rhythm, too. Together they moved, Jim’s eyes closed, wonderful noises easing from his throat. Blair loved this new, incoherent side of Jim. Loved the quiet of the room, loved this bubble of time and space which seemed only to extend to him.

Loved the way Jim smelled and tasted. It was times like this when he could truly grasp what it must mean to be a sentinel.

Their rhythm was building, and so were Jim’s pants and movements. "I’m coming, Chief," he said, "I’m coming," and hanging on tighter, Blair increased his movements until he felt Jim swell in his mouth and then shoot his liquid down Blair’s waiting throat.

"Augh!" Jim’s cries filled the room, and then he was quiet, chest rising and falling as he floated back down to earth. In between his legs, Blair swallowed, lay wonderfully exhausted.

He couldn’t wait to ask, "Was that good?" even as Jim was reaching a hand down and dragging him up to the bigger man’s side.

"God," said Jim, pulling Blair into the crook of his arm. "I’d say you were a natural." And why would I be surprised? He wondered vaguely. He’s great at everything.

"Really?" Blair asked, snuggling happily. Good. He had really wanted to please Jim, make it really, really, good.

Jim expended the effort to kiss him on the head. Then he said, "You got another condom, Sandburg?"

"Maybe," said Blair, thinking, please god, let me have one. Then he thought, "Uh, as much as I love that, I’m a little sore, man."

"For you, dummy," said Jim, kissing him again. "For you to wear, that is."

The heat that suddenly rushed through Blair’s body propelled him off the bed and over to his backpack. Please god, please god. He thought he had actually put one in his first aid kit, but that had been some time back….

"Yeah," he sighed in relief, coming back over with the treasure. Then he said, "You sure?" wanting to be considerate.

"Oh yeah," said Jim, pulling him back down. "Get to it," and Jim turned over on his stomach and spread his legs.

Blair knew there were other positions to try this with, but since he really knew none of then, he quickly lubed his fingers and then got between Jim’s legs and started stroking the bigger man’s rear. Man, he was incredible. What a butt. Blair wondered if he should start feeling self-conscious about his.

"You okay?" he whispered, running his hand down across the firm cheeks. Jim opened himself wider once more, and Blair ran a finger down the dark crack. Yeah, here was…. This is so bizarre, he thought. So truly…strange and wonderful. Carefully, he slid his slick finger into the tiny hole.

Jim, of course, accepted it stoically.

"You okay?" Blair asked again.

"Hey, I’m ready," said Jim.

Oh yeah, super cop, thought Blair with a dry fondness. Mr. I Can Handle Anything. "I guess you know this isn’t the time to play tough guy, right?" Blair asked dryly.

"Baby," said Jim, "we’ll play whatever you want."

Blair laughed out loud. "Okay," he said, then he got serious. As he moved his finger in and out, he could tell the change in Jim’s breathing. "I’m just going to press a bit here," he said, trying to keep his own excitement in abeyance. Being inside Jim. He was going to be inside of Jim. With slick and trembling fingers, Blair tore open the condom package and slid the precious object on his swollen cock. Then, as gently as possible, he pressed himself against Jim’s tight entrance.

Man, he was tight. There was no way…. Blair watched in disbelief as Jim’s muscles started relaxing around the tip of him. "Jim? You okay?" he asked, when Jim still didn’t say anything.

"Yes," said Jim, but Blair could tell the effort being made to keep that voice steady.

"We don’t have to do this," Blair said immediately, ready to stop.

"Sandburg," said Jim, reaching around to try to touch Blair. "Keep going."

So Blair did, gently easing his way into his taciturn sentinel. He went slowly and steadily, checking with Jim all the while, until finally he was all the way in and he saw and felt Jim's body relax. "Oh god," Blair breathed, his body sheathed in that hot, pulsing tunnel. He thought he would die if he didn’t move.

As if reading his mind, Jim started pushing against the student, quickly setting up an urgent rhythm.

"Oh, man," said Blair, his voice trembling. "Oh, Jim." He sounded like he might cry, and Jim increased his movements.

"Fuck me, Chief," he said. "Ride me, baby. I want you to."

"Oh yeah," said Blair, his hands plastered onto Jim’s hips. They were connected. He and Jim were connected. It had been incredible while ago, feeling Jim inside of him, but this, watching this…. "Oh yeah, Jim, oh yeah," and he was bouncing now, thrusting inside of his partner until the whole bed was shaking. He could hear the slap of their bodies against one another’s, feel the aching need between them. "I’m coming, I’m coming," he said, the words ripping out of him even as the climax did, his cries sharpening before he collapsed, carefully, onto Jim’s back.

For a long time they just lay there until finally, Blair pulled out and they just cuddled, exhausted.

Some time later, Blair felt Jim wipe the strands of hair from his face.

You’re beautiful, Jim thought. That was beautiful. He pulled Blair closer to him, and they slept.

The next morning, the sun peeked through the crack between the curtains and Jim opened his well-refreshed eyes. He was gummy, dirty, and his mouth tasted like…what? God, his butt was sore. Then he saw a sleeping naked Blair beside him and remembered everything. Yes! Today was going to be a fucking great day.

In a moment, Blair was rubbing his eyes, trying to come to grips with the morning. "Uh, hi," he said, and his expressions flew right across his open face. Jim couldn’t help but laugh.

"Surprise, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Blair, grinning sheepishly. He looked hesitant for a moment, but when Jim put his arms around him, he moved over right into them, cuddling with a happy sound.

Jim kissed his hair. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked.

Blair shrugged against his shoulder. "Don’t care," he said. "As long as I don’t have to move from this position."

Pleased, Jim rubbed Blair’s naked back, nuzzled against his curls. "How do you feel about moving into other positions?" he asked.

"Why James, how did you know?" Blair asked, pushing his hard groin against Jim’s leg. He was still a bit shy at this new situation and didn’t look up from Jim’s shoulder.

In a second, James had his bedmate rolled over on his back. He was horny as heck, and Blair looked like the perfect cure to him.

"Hey, macho man," said Blair, squirming underneath Jim’s hands and gaze. Wow, those icy eyes sure could heat up.

"This for me?" Jim asked, moving right down to Blair’s hard cock. Well, hell, it was practically standing up and waving hello.

"Apparently," Blair said, gasping as Jim started lapping between his legs. "You know, Jim, I should probably take a shower-"

"Huh-uh," Jim said, taking a long, appreciative sniff. "I like my morning Blair just the way you are."

"Your morning Blair," that young man repeated, shaking his head. "OKAY," he said, his words jumping at a particular intimate move of Jim’s hand. "Whoa, god, yeah," he said, his voice shaky. Then he just gave up on speaking altogether as Jim laid him out on the bed and took his time with him. It was an amazing journey. By the time Jim was done, Blair was completely wrung out, spent from a loud, sizzling climax, his legs spread wide open. My life is going to be entirely different from now on, he thought dizzily.

"Hey Sandburg," Jim said, moving back up on the exhausted student. "I was just thinking. Think about all the tests we could do together in bed. You know, see how long I could hold you on the edge, how hard I could make you come, that sort of thing." He smiled wickedly and Blair felt his poor cock jump again at the words.

"I’ve created a monster," Blair said weakly.

"Oh yeah," said Jim, mouthing Blair’s neck. "A hungry, horny one."

"Fortunately," said Blair, wrapping his arms around Jim’s naked body, "sentinel tests run both ways. I’ll have to see how you respond to all kinds of interesting stimuli, you know?"

"Uhm," said Jim, sucking Blair’s earlobe. "Submitting to tests, huh? Are you going to use the Sandburg probe?" He moved his leg against Blair’s groin. "I hear that’s especially good for sensitive sentinels."

Blair was still giggling when Ed knocked on the door. "Roads are open," he called through. "Checking out today?"

Jim looked down at the naked man in his arms. His fond gaze skimmed the half-lidded eyes, the lush mouth, the curves of the smooth deltoids. "Not today!" he called out and perplexed, the man outside finally walked off.

"Simon’s going to kill you," Blair said, pleased, his arms around Jim’s neck.

"Too bad," said Jim. "Everybody gets time off for their honeymoon, why should we be any different?"

"Oh right. And who’s going to tell him we’re on our honeymoon?" Blair asked, smiling.

"I will," said Jim, back to kissing Blair’s neck. "Just as soon as I get out of this bed."

"And when will that be, my sexual Frankenstein?"

"Uh…never," said Jim.

"God, that’s fine with me," replied his new life-mate.

Outside, the ice was definitely melting.

Inside, a few things were still quite hard.

The End.